Perfect Chemistry
by NotbendingNotbreaking
Summary: Jude has spent almost two years getting used to her loneliness and now she is 18, an adult, and finally felt secure. The man she could never get over is back, and her life is going through a tailspin. What will she do to take control?
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: This is the first one, so read and get it over with :P**

This is my first fan fiction in a loooooooooong time. I mean long. Like a year or so, and it wasn't even on this site. I love Instant Star and I was thinking about doing a FF when I heard this song my boyfriend's band did, and I got completely inspired. So be looking forward to the song, as well as a few others I've written. But I hope this isn't too bad, considering I'm probably a little rusty.

Anyways, this first chapter is basically a fill in to what Jude's life has been like up to this point, so it's not the best. Please, please, please **R&R**. But most of all enjoy :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star, or any of the characters, but this story is MINE.

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November 14, 2007

Today everything I thought I had buried resurfaced. Mom asked me to clean out some boxes in the attic because she was moving out; I didn't know what was in it. Going through all my old stuff, clothes, awards, it made me think. Then I found that picture album, the one thing that I had stuffed away in hopes to stop everything I hated about the one guy that I couldn't get over. Almost a year and a half ago he left, and now I can't help but wish he hadn't. It was his gift to me, the album that is, the day he flew away to America for a better life. I just wish the better life included me in it.

I know I already wrote about it, and I know I could just look back to the page where I wrote it all in. But the only way I can talk about it now is through my music and in here. I'm sick of writing songs about him, he's enveloped my life and he's not even in it anymore. Even with Jamie and Leo, he was always on my mind.

I guess it goes back to my 17th birthday, only a few weeks before he told me he would be going away for a long time, and I might not ever see him again. Of course he screwed things up again, and he totally kissed me on my birthday. It's like a ritual for him, and things escalated a little bit more on my 17th than on my 16th. I guess he considered 17 a little bit less of a setback than 16? But that's not the point. The point is, he didn't even talk to me about it. It was just, "Jude, I have to tell you something. I'm leaving. For good. I'm sorry I hurt you." God, I was so sick of it, I didn't even think about what he said until it was too late. By the time I got over the fact that he played with me again, he was gone. He promised that I could call or email, and he would respond ASAP. But my inspiration, my rock, my best friend was gone. Yeah, Jamie promised that he would always be there for me, but he got so wrapped up in Patsy and Kat that I knew he wouldn't be jumping at the best friend position so quickly. Sadie was gone to college too, and Kat and I haven't talked with civility since the day of my movie premiere practically two years ago. I was completely lost. I was left at rock bottom, nothing. Not even my parents were there. Mom was getting married to Steven; Dad was getting married to Yvette. All I had was my music, and Darius was threatening to take even that away from me.

Now I sit here, 18 years old, and all those feelings are back again. I live in the same pathetic apartment because I know how fast my money earned can be tossed away. I have to say, my record sales are doing great, and I've saved up quite a bit of money. I'm maturing, I'm older, and my songs are better. I couldn't lie by saying that he didn't still inspire me, but I'd like to move on with my life. My third album was a much greater hit, and I guess that's an "up-yours" to him. I was inspired by Leo, by my family, by my loneliness in general, once Leo broke up with me. It's been almost two months since then, and now my fourth album is officially getting started. I don't know what I'll do to get inspired but it better be quick. The press is getting bored of me and Darius is pressing some sort of publicity-

The phone suddenly rang, interrupting Jude Harrison's feverish writing. Grabbing the phone next to her bed, Jude didn't recognize the number on the caller ID.

"Hello?" She asked apathetically.

"Jude, how are you?"

She nearly dropped the phone in surprise. Jude recognized that voice, the one that belonged to the man she had just been raving over in her journal.


	2. Chapter 2

"Uhh... uhmm, Tommy?" Jude collapsed onto her bed, not bothering to watch the journal that just sprawled loose pages all over the floor.

"Yeah?" He sounded exactly the same as when she last heard him, like he was just calling her to tell her to come in a little early to the studio. Just like he would have two years ago.

"After all this time, why are you calling?" She didn't have the breath to let her temper fly. In a few moments she new if she caught it she would go off on him about many things. About how he left her at the worst time and placed her hope for love in a sepulcher he could carry with him, about how she couldn't stop writing songs about him even though he was gone, and about how he promised to keep in contact with her even though their emails every week turned to months and soon disappeared. "Almost two years, Quincy, since you last called. What do you want?"

Silence engulfed her receiver and she wondered if he had hung up. Just before following suit, Jude heard Tom Quincy speak once more.

"I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in a while, but I will talk to you almost every day soon." He sounded a little shaky, like the thought of this made him nervous.

Jude thought for a minute, but she wouldn't waste her time coming up with her own reasons when she could just ask. "What do you mean?"

"Well G Major is expanding, you know they're making a whole new building with five more studios."

This was redundant. He was feeding her things she already knew long ago. "Yeah, your point?"

"That means they're hiring new staff; New supervisors, new technicians. You know." He paused and waited to see if Jude would catch on. "New producers?"

She sat silently for a few moments, contemplating everything. _Tommy is telling me… he's coming back? _"But you're working for Cape Cove. So what?"

A sigh echoed into her ears, so familiar and missed. "Jude, Darius called me a while ago, he's a conniving ass, but he knows how to make a deal."

Jude furrowed her brows. _Shouldn't I be happy about what he's saying?_

"Darius knows how well I'm doing here, I'm making big hits, big money. He wants me at G Major to get all the publicity he can, and I'm being offered more than I could even ask from him." Tommy paused again. "I could work with you again, Jude, if you wanted me to."

She licked her lips and sighed. Jude craved Tommy; she had since the day on the pier when he helped her fix 24 hours. But all this all of the sudden, she remembered just before this call how she was shattered, merely posing as a put-together artist procuring album after album. "I don't know Tommy, when are you getting here?"

"As soon as I finalize buying the house I want. I've already moved out of my LA loft and traded my contract over to G Major. Darius expects me in at least two weeks." Jude felt a rush to her head. Tommy is coming back in two weeks. She could work with him, while Kwest sits and makes fun of the two for their obvious attraction just like before. Just like when she still believed she could have him.

"Jude, you there?" Jude snapped back to reality.

"Yeah, uhm. Cool Tommy. Yeah. So, really now that you're gonna be around me more. How was America?" She needed a distraction question so she could think before he hung up.

"Trashy." He chuckled and continued. "The girls each have a couple husbands and then some. I learned that quickly." Jude decided she would need to think later; she couldn't help but want to listen to what Tommy had to say. "Lost Cause, you know my last band, has been getting bigger. And just about every other person is a celebrity or drunk." She could tell he was just summing everything up for now, but she would get the details later. Tommy, in fact, was summing it up and leaving out one particularly _frozen_ detail. He decided that discussion, if it would exist at all, would not be over the phone.

"Anyways, how's Toronto holding up without me?"

"It's doing better." Jude joked, but she didn't know quite what to say. _Miserably. I think I never want to sing Oh, Canada ever again._

"Well, I'll call you before I leave, ok girl?" Tommy seemed to forget Jude was turning 19 soon enough, which meant she was legally an adult now.

"Ok, bye." Jude hung up and sunk into her pillow as a mass of thoughts exploded inside her head all at once.

"What just happened?" She asked allowed to the empty apartment, seizing the notepad on her bedside table. After jotting down a few inspiration lyrics, Jude turned off her light and slumped into bed.


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n: **You know, I never would have thought just two reviews would have made a difference, but you guys really made me smile : I hope more of you read it and like it.

* * *

That night's turmoil left Jude grouchy the next morning. She realized she had woken up late and only had a few minutes to get ready. Quickly Jude grabbed a pair of jeans and band tee and traded them for her sweats. Grabbing a pop tart and her keys, Jude ran out the door and jumped into her hand-me-down car that Sadie had given to her before she left to college.

Jude walked briskly into the studio after her ten-minute drive there. Studio A was calling her name, and she had some fresh new lyrics to run by Kwest, who had been working as he producer since Tommy left. She actually liked working with Kwest, he understood her the best next to Tommy and she almost understood him too.

"Hey, Kwest I-" Jude stopped when she realized that Kwest was hunched over the soundboard with his headphones on and the mix blaring.

She walked over to him and took off the headphones, which immediately caused him to jump back and knock Jude over.

"Woah, hey Jude." Kwest offered her a hand and pulled her up quickly.

Jude scoffed slightly and sat in the chair next to his, presenting him with the newly written lyrics. "What do you think, the next track for the album, or no?"

Kwest took the paper and read it over a few times before handing it back to her. "Lets work with it. Not the best you've done," he smirked playfully, "but I guess it'll do."

Jude laughed and set the paper down, grabbing her guitar and heading behind the glass. "Ok, lets try something liiike…" She began to strum a soft, then harsh melody. Kwest raised his eyebrows to this, wondering where she was going with the song.

"Ok, well that was rough." Kwest turned on the sound room receiver to talk to Jude. "Want to try the lyrics first. You can listen to them and try recording the background to it."

Jude nodded set down her guitar.

Kwest gave her a thumbs up and she began to sing just like she imagined the song should go.

_"I will not bend _

_And I will not break _

_It's amazing all the hope you take _

_I won't crash now_

_I won't give in to you _

_You seem to expect that I'm still tender _

_But not this time, _

_I won't surrender_

_These battles are pointless_

_These words are cruel_

_And there's only one thing I can do_

_All this hunger _

_You gave it to me _

_And all the lies that I believed _

_They add up now _

_But you can't expect this ender to be _

_My sweet surrender _

_I'd like to pretend that I didn't care _

_I wish you didn't see the deceit in my stare _

_"This time its different." _

_I've heard it before _

_This is my closure _

_I'm shutting the door _

_All this hunger _

_You gave it to me _

_And all the lies that I believed _

_They add up now _

_But you can't expect this ender to be _

_My sweet surrender _

_I will not bend _

_And I will not break _

_Again." _

Kwest nodded after the recording and talked into the receiver to Jude. "The lyrics hit it, lets work on the chords again. I'm assuming this one's acoustic?"

Jude nodded and picked up her guitar again. It took hours for her to get everything semi-right. Kwest tried to convince her into making SME do the backtrack, but she felt raw about this song, and acoustic felt right.

Slowly Jude clamored back in front of the recording area and sat next to Kwest once more.

"What's it called?" Kwest asked very suddenly.

"What?" Jude lost track of thought for a minute. "Oh, right. The song. It's called Sweet Surrender."

He nodded and reached for his headphones so he could listen to the track and figure out what needed work, but Jude stopped him with a question.

"Do you like working with me?" Jude's question was blunt, and she turned to face him, hoping for a blunt answer.

Kwest turned and his chair and sighed, giving up on the idea of working on Sweet Surrender for right now. When Jude wanted to talk, she wouldn't give up.

"Yeah, of course. Why?" He replied nonchalantly.

She bit her lip. "Well, I suppose you know that Tommy is coming back." Kwest merely nodded. "And he wanted to work with me again. So he would be my producer… instead of you."

He shrugged, turning back to the soundboard. Honestly he was a little aggravated. Tommy comes back after leaving Jude for almost two years, and now she's running back to him, while this entire time he'd been there for her.

Jude continued to talk. "So have you been talking to him lately?"

He massaged his temple briefly. Kwest would never admit it, but he was jealous of all the attention Tommy got. "Yeah, I have. He's really excited to come back and see you. Trust me, I've heard it over and over again."

Jude rested her head on her hand and looked down. "Can I talk to you about all this without you running to Tommy and telling him everything I said?"

Kwest smiled slightly, but quickly shooed it away. "Sure." He knew if this brought up something major he wouldn't be able to keep it to himself, but he was a gossip fiend, he couldn't help it.

Jude sighed and sat up. "I don't know if I want Tommy to come back." She saw the surprised look on Kwest's face and shook her head. "I mean, what if he's all different, what if everything is different."

Kwest couldn't help but laugh a little. "Things are going to be different, you know that. You're an adult now, just think about that."

Jude shook her head. "But that's just it, you know he's just coming back now because he can't get into trouble if… if…" She merely shook her head and Kwest laughed.

"You don't have to pretend like I don't know."

She shrugged. "Its like, he always wants me then he doesn't. But now that I'm 18, do you think he'll just go for it?" Jude bit her lip.

"Of course he will, he's Tommy."

"But why should I let him! He just does things when it's best for him and doesn't even consider me!" Jude burst out for the first time in a long time. "I mean, he _left_ me Kwest. He didn't leave my sister, or you, or the studio, or anyone else. But he left me when he knew I needed him and now that I'm doing good with you and my album and I'm finally starting to get back up on my feet, he decides 'Hey, more money and Jude's 18, so now when I hit on her it won't be illegal!'" Jude snorted with disgust.

Kwest pressed his lips together, fighting a laugh. "Well, Jude, I know that you want Tommy too. So you're just going to have to control yourself, eh?" And before Jude could protest, Kwest picked up his headphones and began to work with the freshly recorded song.


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n: **Let me just say, don't jump to conclusions after this one. :

I really want tothank the couple of you that have reveiwed, faved, or alerted this. It really gives me hope.

I've been updating quick on this one cause I'm trying to attract new readers at first and I already had all this typed up, so the updates will get a little slower probably after this chapter or the next.

But anyways, back to the story

* * *

The next week went by quicker than Jude had hoped for. She had decided that the upcoming occasion called for a shopping trip, and since she had saved up almost all the money her first two albums had racked up, a rather big one at that. She trashed most of her old clothes and bought an entirely new wardrobe. Something less 'I'm just a girl' and more 'Not just a girl, not yet a woman'. This mostly consisted of softer grunge, pointier shoes, and shorter hair. EJ, who had been re-hired by Darius as G Major's publicist, practically had a hernia. The other shopping trip Jude took was for new apartment furniture. The place she had lived in for the past two and half years was scrungy and dull, not to mention that Kyle, Wally, and Spied had all found their own places long ago. With paint, a few rugs, and all new furniture, the place was going to be almost a real home. 

With all the furniture coming in on Saturday morning, Jude asked Kwest to come over and help her arrange things.

Grumbling slightly, Kwest arrived early that morning to see that the shipping truck had already dumped Jude's new furniture outside the complex and Jude was sitting on the plastic-wrapped green couch reading the tabloids.

"Guess who's got a story in the tabs?" Jude smiled and threw the magazine at Kwest playfully. He caught it and scanned the page it was opened to.

He laughed. "I guess I can't get away with clubbing with some friends." He shrugged and tossed the article on the couch again.

Jude shook her head with a smile. "Please, Kwest. You call practically banging in the middle of a dance floor with some celebrity knock-off 'clubbing'?"

They laughed and Kwest just shrugged once more.

Soon the two began lifting furniture into the apartment with casual conversation about all the additions to G Major and finished about two hours later.

"So now I get to come in and sit on all the new furniture, since I moved it in, right?" Kwest grinned and jumped onto the Jude's new couch and made the side pillows fall off.

"_Watch it!_" Jude strained. "I just bought that, I don't want your enormous amount of weight to crush it!" She laughed and jumped onto the couch too. If at all possible, Kwest was skinnier than she was.

Jude stuffed a pillow in Kwest's face and laughed at his mellow dramatic reaction. "So any word from Quincy lately?"

Kwest quirked his brow. "What happened to 'Oh, I just don't want Tommy any more, he can shove him and his Boyz Attack up his-"

She smacked him and laughed. "Just curious."

"Well he's just as excited to see you as you are to see him, even more so than before." Kwest made a kissy face and jumped up, afraid of Jude's reaction.

"WHAT!" Jude balled her fist around the edge of the pillow. "Kwest, you are _so_ going to be regretting this!"

He ran up to Jude's bed and fell after a long winding chase throughout the apartment. "WHITE FLAG! WHITE FLAG!" He waved around Jude's new pillowcase and covered his head as Jude nearly toppled on top of him.

"I don't think so," Jude said, turned towards Kwest, calming from the constant laughing of the last twenty minutes. "I don't give up that easily."

Kwest smiled at her, noticing how dramatically her shorter blonde locks made her seem more adult. "No?" He felt his conscience fighting for a moment.

"No…" Jude noticed her decreasing distance from him, and soon there was none at all as Kwest brushed his lips against Jude's delicately. She felt no urge to push him away, but scooted slightly closer.

"_Let me rise, let me fall_

_Let me breathe, _

_I wanna lose control_

_I'm not afraid to lose it all."_

Jude's pocket began to vibrate and the loud sound of _Let Me Fall_ erupted into the silence. She shot up, answering the phone without bothering to look at who it was.

"Right, ok. I'll be there." Jude ended the call and pocketed the phone as she stood up. "G Major. Emergency meeting." She didn't know what to say, as awkward silence was the only answer to this besides a slight nod from Kwest.

The two walked out to Kwest's truck and Jude got in without bothering to ask for a ride or not, she just assumed.

The entire ride to the studio was complete uncomfortable silence. Once Jude thought of saying something, but she didn't know what would be the right thing to say. Honestly she was surprised. She didn't exactly kiss Kwest, but she didn't exactly resist either. It felt natural, but she just didn't know if she wanted anything with him. _More like you want to wait for Tommy STILL._ She shook her head, attracting Kwest's attention for a moment. After what seemed like hours, but was only 15 minutes, the two arrived at G Major.

"Nice of you two to join us." Darius said coyly at Jude and Kwest as they entered the meeting room. Jude sat a distance away from Kwest, but not far enough to seem like she was trying to get away. Darius droned on, "Tomorrow my four new producers and seven new artists will be arriving. Some of you may know the producers: Joanne Kent, Tom Quincy (Jude squirmed at his name), Mark Eaton, and Blaine Howard. The new artists will be transferred from other studios, you should recognize them."

Jude zoned out, thinking about what happened earlier. She wondered if Kwest would tell Tommy or if Kwest would just follow in Tommy's footsteps and ignore it all together. She couldn't lie; she felt a connection with Kwest. Soon Jude's attention was snapped back to the meeting at the mention of her name. "Jude," Darius nodded towards her and she sunk further into her chair, "will be teamed up with Tommy to produce a small, five-track, EP album, and wait a while to make her true third. We'll be holding a reception party at seven pm tomorrow evening, please be there to welcome everybody." He grinned that icy grin he had and scanned the room. "That's all."

Jude stalked out of the room and felt a grasp on her shoulder. Thinking it was Kwest, she turned around sulkily. "Look, Kwest, I- " But she came face to face with Georgia, who had also been given a job at G Major as an advisor once Darius took over.

"Hey Jude, why don't we step into my office and talk, ok?" Jude felt a rush of relief. She didn't feel like confrontation just this moment, but that's exactly what she was heading towards.

Jude fell into Georgia's plush love seat in the corner of her office. Georgia took a seat in her office chair after closing the door and wheeled over closer to Jude.

"So," Jude noticed a childish glint in Georgia's eyes, like she used to see when talking to Kat about the new hot guy in their chemistry class, "Excited about Tom coming back?"

Jude groaned and grasped her forehead.

"That detached, huh?" Georgia looked at her with surprise all over.

Jude shook her head. "No, I'm not it all detached. It just seems like everyone thinks that I'm going to be so happy and all over Tommy because he's coming back. But he left me, Georgia. He left me for money and gave me to misery just like that." And she snapped her fingers.

"I know it seems harsh, but Tommy did what he had to do." Georgia looked very herself at that moment, and Jude missed it. She missed the old G Major in her first year where everything and everyone were so complacent. Everything seemed to slip downhill from then on.

"It was a good move for him. But everything else for me was just so bad and Tommy was my only stability." She shook her head. "I never should have depended on him like that and now I'm back up again. I don't want to do the same thing. I've gotten a routine, and I've even sort of gotten interested in a new guy." Jude blushed, but she knew she was bluffing. The only action she was getting was from Kwest and he hadn't said a word since.

"That's good, Jude, I'm happy for you." Georgia smiled sincerely. "But don't be afraid to let Tommy be your friend. He's changing too."

Jude simply nodded and took her leave to Studio A, where Kwest would be waiting and a whole new conversation would begin.


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n: **I'm so glad you guys like it so far! But I forgot about some things just for background info.

Jude is blonde still, and everything that happened after "I Fought The Law" never happened in this fiction. Sadie and Tommy broke up about a month before Tommy left because of their lives not meshing. Basically, Sadie was away at college and Tommy was at work, not to mention that all the same envies of Jude and Tommy's relationship were still there, and Tommy accused Sadie of cheating on him at frat parties. Generally it was a rather bitter breakup, and they didn't talk over the time he was gone. This will come into play later, so I hope you read this:)

Also, I realize that in the new season they changed the studios from letters to numbers, but for personal purposes (I get confused very easily :P) I'm going to stick with letters. And this is the longest chapter I've written yet!

Oh, and I wrote _Sweet Surrender_. I just forgot to mention it. Copyright, copyright, etc, etc.

Anyways, here's chapter 5.

* * *

Jude opened the door to Studio A cautiously. She didn't know whether facing Kwest would be like facing Tommy or not, but she hoped not. She hoped Kwest wouldn't pretend that nothing happened and slowly wait for weeks until things between the two were no longer awkward. 

Kwest had his headphones on and was toying with the soundboard, assumingly mixing _Sweet Surrender_. Jude didn't want to disturb him; she had to think of what she was going to say, and all the things he might say, so she just sat in the wingman's chair and waited for him to finish.

It was about ten minutes later that Kwest finally noticed Jude's presence. He had been concentrating so hard on the music, not letting his mind wonder to the early morning events.

When Kwest caught a glimpse of glowing white skin, he turned off the mixer and turned to face his visitor.

"Hey." He said simply, trying not to give off any emotion.

"Hey…" Jude looked at his face, trying for a read. "So…"

"Look," Kwest sighed, "I'm not going to be like Tommy, I'm not going to ignore everything and tell you to forget what happened."

Jude nodded, and she found herself not knowing what to say. Being honest she would have said something like 'Kwest, I like you. You help me feel better, and you're a great person to go to for advice. But Tommy's coming back, and I just don't know if I want to have a boyfriend right now, or even casually date, because it might discourage any chances I have with Tommy right off the bat. Now I'm 18 and I'm legal, and I hope it will make a difference.'

Yeah, that would have been the most honest thing. But she didn't want to reveal her wild hopes to Kwest, because she knew he would run straight to Tommy and tell him.

"I know." She muttered quietly, grabbing an empty cup of coffee and eyeing it as if it actually posed some interest to her. "I need some coffee, want a refill?"

Kwest chuckled, taking the cup for Jude and handing her a slightly newer cup with G Major's logo plastered on it in bright block letters. "Sure, but I would prefer to use my own cup."

Jude simply shrugged as a light pink tinge arose to her cheeks. She glanced once more at the mystery mug and walked stoically into the kitchenette.

After setting the mug down, Jude buried her head in her hands and groaned. She hated _talking_. As much as she nags at people for ignoring things, confrontation wasn't easy. Especially when you're talking about inappropriate kisses in empty apartments.

_Hey, I think I'll use that one for a song._ Jude got up and dug around for a mug, a napkin, and a pen, scribbling on it "_inappropriate kisses in empty apartments._" She pocketed the napkin and poured herself and Kwest full cups of G Major's fancy shmancy coffee brand. Before Darius had taken over G Major simply used Folgers.

It was another few minutes and a couple sips of coffee before Jude stealthily walked back into Studio A. She hoped that Kwest would be working on a song when she got there. Just her luck, he was waiting for her to get back for some more talking that she simply dreaded.

Sitting down next to Kwest, She nodded and gave him his coffee.

"So what do you think?" Jude was surprised at Kwest's casualty of the question. She knew what he was talking about, and what he was asking, but the melancholy of it slightly offended her.

"I'm not really…" Jude sat puzzled for a moment, trying not to go to in depth into the situation. "I'm not really in a good time for anything like a boyfriend." Which was a lie, because Jude was just waiting for that one boyfriend.

Kwest nodded. He had figured that it would be like this. A month ago, heck, even a week ago, he knew Jude would have been ok with it. But this was all for Tommy's return. "Yeah, that's cool." He nodded again, not knowing what else to do.

"But, we're not going to be all awkward and stupid, right?" Jude bit her lip. That was the last thing she needed right now, even farther from a boyfriend. Because once Tommy came back, she knew Kwest would be needed. Severely.

"Right… Well, I don't know about you on the stupid part." He said jokingly, wincing as Jude scoffed and smacked him.

She shook her head and stood up. "You should be one to talk about the stupid part."

Kwest raised his eyebrows. "Well, I'm not the one that needs to re-record both the chords and the lyrics of _Sweet Surrender_."

Jude shrugged and gave up as she walked into the sound booth. She picked up her guitar and waited for Kwest's direction.

"Lyrics first." He mouthed through the glass wall. It was so much work turning on the receiver and talking into the microphone.

Jude nodded, getting better and lip language as her years at G Major went on.

"_I will not bend_

_And I will not break,_

_It's amazing all the hope you take._"

Jude remembered how she had hoped that Tommy would give into his feelings at her sixteenth birthday party after overhearing his conversation with Kwest.

-

_"But if she was twenty-one?" Kwest asked him._

"_In a split second." Tommy returned, without even thinking. _

_-_

She was so innocent, so unaware.

And then BAM, Shay broke her heart; all she needed was a little glue. Tommy tried to provide that, giving her hope for the men in her life yet, but he smoldered it immediately and broke her into even tinier pieces.

"_I won't crash now. _

_I won't give in to you_"

Her dad had betrayed her too. He cheated on her mom, and split their family apart.

But Jude would not let either get the best of her. She only used the emotions riled up to write magnificent songs for her first album.

"_You seem to expect that I'm still tender._

_But not this time, _

_I won't surrender. _

_These battles are pointless, _

_These words are cruel,_

_And there's only one thing I can do._"

It was only in due time that Tommy and Sadie started going out. Jude didn't know what to do; she cared about Tommy so much and Sadie got another trophy to rub in her face. Tommy didn't seem to care much either.

Pushing past this, Jude got other boyfriends, but they didn't last long. Each new one provided a new rush of jealously, a false hope in Jude, and another fatal kiss on Jude's seventeenth birthday party.

She finally wanted to get rid of him after that, but she didn't know that her ideas would become a reality so soon.

"_All this hunger_

_You gave it to me._

_And all the lies that I believed._

_They add up now,_

_But you can't expect this ender to be_

_My sweet surrender._"

Tommy and Sadie broke up soon after the seventeenth birthday incident, though it was not because of the incident itself. They just were not a good couple, and everything about one's personality grated the other's.

Kat and Jamie barely spoke to Jude, and she didn't really care for their attention. She avoided her parents at all costs, for her dad was marrying his mistress, and her mom was marrying her divorce lawyer. Talk about screwed up.

Soon enough Tommy and Jude grew closer and Jude could tell that he was going to ruin it again by making a stupid move. She just didn't know how permanent the move would really be, and that was literally making a move.

He approached her with such sorrow that she thought someone had died. The conversation that followed was so clearly scripted in her mind.

"_I'd like to pretend that I didn't care._

_I wish you didn't see the deceit in my stare._

"_This time its different."_

_I've heard it before._

_This is my closure,_

_I'm shutting the door._"

_-_

_"Jude… I…" Sighs. "I…"_

"_What's wrong, Tommy?" Jude was sincerely worried._

"_I'm… Leaving. I'm moving." He looked like he was about to cry. "I'm sorry, I just had to make this choice for my career. I'm just… Sorry." He held his face._

_Jude looked almost disgusted, like he had just thrown up all over her boots, and barely croaked, "Yeah, me too." _

_-_

That was it, the last live conversation between the two.

Jude felt a surge of anger as she sang her song into the microphone. Tommy wasn't even back yet, and she was already writing moody teenage songs about him. Kwest seemed to noticed and stopped the first recording that blasted through Jude's headphones.

"What?" She snapped.

"You're practically screaming, mellow it down. This song's chords make it a sharp edgy tune, not a death metal ballad." Kwest shook his head and rewound the tape. They had to record again. "Lets try it with a little less hardcore, a little more singing."

Jude rolled her eyes. It took her four more takes until the song sounded just right. The chords didn't take as long: about three takes total.

It was around four when Jude's part of the song was finished, so she left Kwest to start mixing it. He didn't oppose.

_I'm really exhausted and I want some time to brace myself for tomorrow. I wonder if Darius will let me off early tonight…_ Jude thought as she leaned on the wall outside of Studio A. She knew the chances were slim, but it was worth a try. The last time Jude just skipped out of the studio without asking him, Darius screamed at her for hours, claiming she wasted hours of studio time and a lot of the record companies money like this. So now

She noticed Darius was growing a little softer, and she thought it was because of a new girlfriend. He had all the symptoms: particularly standoffish towards attractive women (trying not to tempt himself), increased smiling, and many private phone calls.

"Darius?" Jude knocked on the half-opened door to his office and peered in. He was on the phone.

"Hold on one second." Darius spoke into the receiver and then turned to Jude. "Yes?" He said rather snappily, as if she had interrupted something important.

"I was wondering if I could get the rest of the night off." Jude drawled, slurring her words slightly as if to make them less distinguishable so Darius might just say yes to make her go away.

"E.J. wants you find her in the closet first." He waved his hand, motioning for Jude to leave. Calling the dressing closet was funny, because it was bigger than two of the studios combined.

Jude found her way to the closet, walking past the barred off hall that would soon be opened as the new half of G Major, and started to search for E.J. A loud squealing noise and a flutter of dresses directed Jude directly to E.J.

"Hey, you wanted to see me?" Jude asked nonchalantly.

E.J. turned and nodded furiously. "Since the welcoming party is tomorrow night, formal, and the press is invited," Jude groaned at the mention of the press, "I have a ton of dresses for you to try on!" E.J. was naturally excited. Jude, on the other hand, had grown tired of all the trying on she had to do for the job.

After a glance at the dresses that E.J. held out, Jude felt suddenly turned around. They all looked very sultry and sexy, and it was **perfect** for impressing a certain someone.

E.J. lead Jude to a small curtained area for her to slip in and out of dresses. An hour had passed and she had tried on nearly every dress in the room that fit her. She couldn't really decide. Her favorites so far were a silky purple tea-length dress in sheath style that made Jude look as voluptuous as a Victoria's Secret model, a royal blue gown that had a sweetheart neckline and empire cut, and dazzling little black dress that accentuated Jude's maturing feminine features and was the shortest of the three.

"I can't decide. Depends on what you want." E.J. said bluntly. She loved all three.

"I want sexy. I want to look like an adult. I mean, I'm turning 19 soon enough and I should look like it. Right?" Jude was confident at first, but then again, she always seemed to appear as a little girl to the press. _How would the tabloids take it? _She thought doubtfully.

"Ah, I think the black one will do that for you then." E.J. recognized the hesitant look she gave. "Jude, you're a woman. Show everybody." She smiled and handed Jude the dress and then started to put all the rejects back onto the racks.

"You're getting off work early tomorrow, about two. I'll find you, but you're getting your aesthetics done for the party." Jude heard E.J. call out to hear as she walked out of the room and headed out of G Major.

The trip home was quiet; Jude decided not to listen to the radio, but rather to think. _What am I going to do when I see Tommy tomorrow? _She repeatedly asked herself.

That night she took a shower, and went to bed straight away. She didn't feel like song writing, searching the tabloids for crazy rumors, or watching the news; it was all insignificant to what was coming up the next day.


	6. Chapter 6

**a/n: **I'm pretty sure the hit count is bugging / I was almost at my 1000th hit and then it just stopped. But I got four new reviews (Thanks, everyone:D) so I know people are reading. I really love the reviews and I'd love to know what everyone thinks.

This chapter is basically a transition to the real good stuff. So it's not too long or too interesting.

* * *

Though her sleep had been deep and extended, Jude woke up early that morning inanticipation. She wasn't hungry so she took an extra hour to shower again, pick out the best of her new outfits, and primp up.

"Why am I doing this? He's not even coming until the party." Jude slumped into a rather plush armchair and stared at the clock. She would wait another ten minutes before leaving to G Major.

_What if he's there waiting? What if he came early and the party is just for publicity and I'm not ready. What will I say? _Jude stood up and began pacing.

"Why is Tommy coming back such a big deal?" She croaked, nearly screaming. Truthfully she missed him, wanted him, and knew that after all the time he was gone a few butterflies still fluttered every time his name was mentioned.

It was impossible to get over him. He was hot, chiseled, sensitive, sweet, caring, and one of Jude's best friends. Sometimes at his worst he was rude, reluctant, and just plain pathetic. But Jude couldn't deny that the good things about Tommy far outweighed the bad.

She got up and locked up her apartment with purse in hand. It took about twenty minutes for Jude to drive to G Major and she arrived just before her required ten-o-clock start. The lobby, with the exception of a few bustling interns, was generally empty. Jude slowly made her way to Studio A and found it surprisingly empty. She sat in the head producer's chair and picked up the headphones, assuming that Kwest had left _Sweet Surrender _in from working on it last night.

"'_Cause he's frozen _

_Under an ocean of-_"

Jude jumped out of the chair in surprise and the cord of the headphones popped out of the soundboard easily as she fell to the floor.

"What are you doing?"

Jude looked up and saw Kwest looking at her under very furrowed eyebrows.

"I just thought it was… uhm… my new song and so…" She didn't know why Frozen was in there and why it surprised her so much, but she just shrugged and stood up.

Kwest seemed to buy it. Hetook the headphones that were hanging from Jude's neck and plugged them back into the soundboard.

"You want to hear your song so far?" He asked her, and without waiting for an answer he exchanged the current disc in the recorder with the disc that held _Sweet Surrender_.

Jude sat down in her proper chair and listened to the song. It sounded great, just like she had hoped for. It brought her back to her first album, and she bit her lip in slight disappointment.

"What?" Kwest obviously saw the look on Jude's face and became concerned. He worked long hours on the song last night just so they didn't have to worry about it the day of party.

"It's just," Jude sighed and shook her head, "I feel like I'm diving back into my immature album. My first one."

Kwest chuckled and Jude shot him a disdainful look. "Jude, your first album went double platinum after you picked up publicity. It appealed to people your age, and everybody has lapses of their past. It sounds amazing."

Jude grinned, suddenly wondering why she had so quickly turned down the idea of actually being with Kwest. He really wasn't like her past crushes, but then again he really wasn't like any other person she knew at all.

"Can we run through some different mixes though?" She asked, letting her smile fade off of her face.

Kwest nodded in agreement and they spent about two hours deciding on the final mix. Jude took a break for lunch around noon and found herself taking a coffee run for almost the entire G Major staff. By the time Jude fulfilled the correct orders and handed them out to everybody, earning about 5 bucks extra from the gas money given to her, it was almost two.

"Jude!" She had just sunk into a comfortable chair in the lobby when her name was screeched from across the room. Jude turned around and saw E.J. approaching her with that hungry look like she always had when Jude went through an extensive makeover.

"Come on, I'm driving you to the salon to get a makeover!" Her voice rang with excitement.

Jude reluctantly let E.J. drag her out to the sparkling red convertible with a license plate that read, what else but, "EJ."

"Where are we going?" Jude asked as she buckled herself into the passenger's seat and ran her fingers through her hair.

E.J. smiled devilishly and Jude knew she was in for a real painful pampering. "Only one of the hottest celebrity spots in Toronto. Unnamed because it is _that_ exclusive."

Jude rolled her eyes and spaced out the entire ride there. E.J. pulled into an underground garage about forty-five minutes after they left G Major and parked near a stairway. Jude sluggishly followed E.J. up the stairs and through a doorway that looked old and worn. She wondered if this place was even better than Great Clips. That is, until she walked into it.

The walls and tiles were all white. About ten different stations, each room sized, were laid out before her. There were mirrors surrounding each and the most eloquent seats she had ever seen. There were only two people who were being pampered when Jude arrived, but she knew that they had to be famous.

"Wow." She muttered. E.J. glowed.

Two hairdressers in matching white outfits suddenly whisked Jude and E.J. to separate stations. It wasn't until then that Jude realized she wasn't the only one being treated to a day here.

Three hours later Jude could barely recognized herself. She had changed into her little black dress and now gazing at herself, she felt like she could knock an entire boy band out in one glance. _One member shouldn't be too hard to handle_. She thought with a smirk.

Her hair was in big barrel rolls that fell just at her shoulders and her blonde hair had been slightly lightened for fresher look. The makeup was subtle except for a smoky eye look. Jude had been waxed, tweezed, massaged, and lotioned up to look and feel extraordinary tonight.

Jude got up to walk around and found E.J. waiting for her in a cozy little corner, probably set up for agents and such.

"You look amazing!" Jude complemented her publicist. She couldn't help but befriend the workers at G Major. E.J.'s dress was a little less revealing than Jude's and the color was a pale gold. Her hair was pinned up and her makeup was light and dainty.

"Oh my gosh," E.J. nearly knocked over the lamp that overcastted her as she jumped up from her seat, "Every guy at the party will be bowing at your feet, especially Tommy!"

Jude flushed and shook her head. _Why is E.J. talking about Tommy?_ She asked herself. And though she would never admit it, she knew the answer too.

"Well, we better get going or we're going to be even more than fashionably late." They both looked at the clock hanging on the wall; it read a bout six fifteen. "Let's go."

E.J. promptly led Jude back to her car and they were off to the studio in a flash.

When they arrived Judebecame even moresurprised yet. She had never seen so many reporters and paparazzi at a G Major event. It was almost like a red carpet walk.

It took a while for Jude to register all the limos parked around the area. "What's going on?" She asked E.J.

E.J. chuckled and Jude blushed slightly at her innocence to the situation. "You didn't pay attention to that meeting, did you?" Jude shook her head. "Well, Darius invited a bunch of major celebrities and had me inform nearly every tabloid, magazine, and newspaper in five-hundred miles. Including some American corporations."

Jude gawked at this. She really hadn't anticipated all this pressure. If she did one thing wrong the news would be spread everywhere.

"We don't have a grand entrance, so let's get going." E.J. opened the car door and began walking toward the building. Jude followed suite and soon found thousands of flashes capturing her catwalk to the party.

This was going to be a long night.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/n: **And here is your first taste of real juice :) Truthfully, I don't know what I want to happen as I'm writing this. I only know what's going to happen in the end. I hope you all think as greatly of this as you anticipated it to be.

I looked up the legal drinking age in Canada and from what I understand it is 18 and older. If not then... well I don't care. It is in the fiction :)

* * *

Jude was paralyzed. The crowds of people, the recurrent flashing of lights, the mind-numbingly loud music: it all overwhelmed her. She had over three years of experience in the business. Over three years of parties, interviews, events, and fame, and this was more than anything she had ever expected. 

She looked around the room and didn't even recognize G Major. The lobby had somehow been extended into a room twice the size. Every inch of the dance floor was jam-packed, every table was full of conversation, and Jude only looked for one thing, or one person rather.

Making small talk and little conversations, Jude perused the festivities in search of her one desire. If she could only have a look at him, she would be at least satisfied enough to wait until he approached her, if he approached her.

Hours upon hours of unimportant photos and colloquies passed before Jude spotted him. He was talking to Kwest and a few other guys Jude had never seen before. She had talked to Kwest recently, along with almost everyone else at G Major, and he had not seen head or tail of Tom Quincy.

It wracked her nerves to watch him. Though Jude barely believed it, he looked even more attractive then she remembered. His look was only slightly different, and she could tell that the past two years had done some wear and tear on her Tommy.

Suddenly Tommy turned and locked his gaze with hers. They were practically magnetized to each other, and Jude was mesmerized. Every feeling she ever felt towards Little Tommy Q. rushed back to her like a slap in the face as she watched him excuse himself from the conversation with his apparent friends and walk towards her. Jude lusted for his soft lips in the rain or locked in her apartment or anywhere he pleased. She yearned for his complete attention and overprotective actions that took place whenever a scummy guy approached her. She longed for a look in his captivating eyes as she recorded her new song that those very eyes inspired.

And here they were, only a foot away and perfect for Jude's staring pleasures.

"Hey," Tommy's voice was just like on the phone, just like when he told her that he was leaving, and just like the first time they had met.

"Hey," Jude returned rather breathlessly.

It took a moment for either of the two to come to their senses and speak.

"You look beautiful, Jude." She melted at his words. "You've really grown up since I last saw you."

Jude couldn't find the words to say. She fought the urge to just grab him and kiss him right there. Every angsty angry remorse Jude felt towards Tommy had died the moment she entered the party. She seemed to forget how he had just left her in the dark for so long. But he was back now, and that's all that mattered, right?

"You haven't changed one bit."

Tommy let loose a luscious smile and Jude shivered. Tommy peered around the room, clearly not finding what he was looking for. He sighed and put his hands in his pockets.

"You… you want to go talk somewhere else? You know, catch up?" Tommy suggested. Jude almost thought she could hear a bit of embarrassment in his voice, but she decided to ignore it. Tommy, though, was just that. He couldn't believe he left this girl… no, this _woman_ for so long just for his own selfish needs. He had managed to force himself to forget how much he needed Jude while in California and he suddenly remembered now.

Jude nodded and gasped slightly when Tommy grabbed her hand and led her through the crowds of people to an unknown destination. She could see tiny flashes in the corners of her eyes. Jude grimaced; she could just see the headlines of the tabloids the next day. _I bet there will be something like 'Jude and Tommy's 3-year romance revealed!' or 'Socially unacceptable seduction; what is Little Tommy Q. up to now?'_

A few minutes later Jude found herself on the roof of G Major. She had never been up there before; she didn't even know you _could_ get up there.

The two sat down near the edge and Jude noticed the already starry sky winking down on her. She smiled and stared a while before Tommy spoke up.

"I missed you, Jude."

"I missed you, too." She inched away slightly. She was not going to blow everything the first night he was back.

But the look in Tommy's eyes was sincere. Jude sighed and let her head fall back to look up again. "So what really happened in California?"

Tommy shrugged and ran his hand through his hair. "It was mostly work. I produced two different bands. I got to taste the life of an American celebrity." Jude heard a soft chuckle come from Tommy. "Really, I would go to a bar and meet a nice girl. She would tell me about her family, and then ask me if I wanted to go back to a hotel." He shook his head.

Jude smiled slightly. She had lightened up about her parents' situation. No, she didn't exactly contact them much any more, but she didn't hold a grudge for their mistakes anymore.

"What about you, you had to have done some crazy things. Being eighteen and all." Jude immediately frowned. He was already getting into her age. Suddenly Jude remembered just why she _shouldn't_ give him a chance.

"Well I finished my album, I decided not to go to college, and I had a boyfriend." She fought a smile as she watched Tommy's expression change from amused to concerned very quickly.

"Who were you dating?" He tried not to sound so interested, but it didn't work. Almost two years and Jude could still read him like a book.

Jude shrugged. "A friend of a friend's. He was a drummer, dirty, fun. I figured why not."

Tommy gaped and Jude found it even harder not to giggle. "It lasted about four months. But he really opened me up to being an adult."

Tommy's eyes nearly popped at her innuendo. She was completely and totally enjoying this, and the best part was that she could tell the truth and do it.

Sure, Leo had been her first. But he had also opened her up to serious relationships, drinking, and real fights.

"But that was over a couple of months ago."

The two sat in silence until Jude spoke up once more. "What about you? You have to have had a girlfriend or two."

He sighed, clearly annoyed at the topic. "Well, that's the thing…" Tommy sat silently and stared off into oblivion. Jude wondered if he was still present, but his persistent lip biting told her he was. "Joanne, one of the new producers, and I met at Cape Cove. She really helped me get used to the new scene, and well we got close."

_Joanne doesn't sound like the name of a girl Tommy would go for. Not at all. _Jude thought frantically.

"She and I are dating." Tommy dare not look at Jude, for he knew he would feel her wrath.

"Oh." Going from fighting smiles to fighting tears, Jude stood up. "Well, I better get back to the party. Publicity calls." She didn't even look back as she sulkily walked away from Tommy.

_How could I be so stupid? Did I really think that Tommy would want me after all this? I bet she's prettier than me. I bet her hair is blonder and her skin is tanner and her eyes are bluer. I bet she has more curves and more experience. I bet she's beautiful. How could I think that I would even need to turn Tommy down? What in the world-_ Jude's mind rant was quickly interrupted as she bumped into someone who was heading up the stairs to the roof.

"Oh, sorry!" It was a thin, pale, little brunette woman with bright red lips and a tight red dress. "You must be Jude, right?"

Jude nodded and tried to squeeze by.

"Tommy's told me so much about you! Do you know where he is?" Jude frowned. This was Joanne. This was Tommy's new girlfriend.

"He's on the roof." Jude turned around huffily without saying another word. She wiped a threatening tear out of the corner of her eye and headed back to the party once more. _Where is Kwest?_ She searched the room for a certain best friend of Tommy's.

It took Jude another hour of searching and getting away from people who insisted upon talking to her to find Kwest. He was practically in the same spot as she had seen him two hours ago, but now he was talking to a different group of guys she had never met before.

"Hey, having fun?" She asked as she stepped in on the conversation.

Kwest nodded and took a sip of his drink, which smelled suspiciously like a fine wine.

"Where's Tommy?" He asked nonchalantly.

Jude frowned. "With Joanne."

Kwest spit some of his drink back into the cup and began coughing.

"Yeah, by the way, thanks for telling me about that." She shook her head and began to walk away. Kwest had known all along that Tommy had a girlfriend and hadn't even told her.

"Jude- wait! _Wait._" He snatched her wrist and forced her to stop walking towards the door. "Look, it wasn't my place to tell you about Tommy's life. Besides, I wasn't going to incur the wrath of Jude Harrison. You can get pretty scary when it comes to him."

Jude just glared through narrow eyes.

"He wanted to tell you about it. He thought you would understand about things like that. You know, getting close to someone in the studio."

She snorted. "Oh, please! He is such an ass." She tried to pry herself away from Kwest but his grip was too strong.

"You know what, you're 18 now. Lets go to a bar." Jude raised her eyebrows. All this time of her being 18 and she never really thought of being able to go out and drink.

But right now, that's just what Jude wanted to do. She nodded and smiled at Kwest."Ok, lets go."


	8. Chapter 8

**a/n: **I love you guys! Your reviews are awesome :) I'm not sure how long I want to wait before something else really happens so this chapter is another transition/lead-up chapter.

And don't worry, Kwude is not permanent, I was never planning on it to be! I guess it's just a ploy. And if you are really smart, you'll figure out what I'm using it for before the end of this chapter.

Oh yeah. A magazine named _Tune In _is used in this chapter. It's fake :P

Woah, I just noticed my emoticon obsession in my author's notes. Jeez :P

* * *

Jude's eyes slowly opened and surveyed the room she was in. On a coffee table next to the blue couch she was lying on, she saw was a clock that read nine thirty-two. 

"Where am I?" She asked herself out loud.

Soon she recognized people in pictures around the cozy little room: One of Kwest and Tommy that must have been taken before Jude had even won Instant Star, one of an older couple that looked slightly familiar, and one of a little boy that looked suspiciously like Kwest.

"You're in the fabulous bachelor pad of Kevin West, master mixer and partier extraordinaire!" Jude scooted over and Kwest sat down next to Jude with a plate full of pancakes and a smile on his face.

A loud honking of a car alarm outside rang through the room. Jude groaned and fell onto the armrest of the couch. Hundreds of hammers were pounding at her head. "What happened?" She asked gingerly.

Kwest took a bite of his pancakes and continued to grin. "Well, let's just say that the tabloids will be going crazy with stories of Jude Harrison."

She glared at him and Kwest sighed. "Ok, so you got completely wasted and hit on just about every guy at the bar. Not to mention you got on stage and started singing Boyz Attack renditions. I think you even gave a few guys your number. And a few other things."

Jude smacked her head and quickly felt sorry for the action. "How could I be so stupid?" She moaned.

"Well, you were drunk. What do you expect?"

"Couldn't you have limited me!"

Kwest only shook his head. "You had fun and it's what you needed, so don't go blaming me for all this."

"But I don't remember anything, so it's not like it mattered whether I had fun or not." Jude growled and crossed her arms.

Kwest stood up and handed Jude the plate. "You eat, I'll go get you some Tylenol and glass of something to drink…" In five minutes he was back carrying a glass of what looked like red wine and a couple Tylenol.

Jude sniffed the wine after Kwest had sat down and handed the items to her. She nearly threw up and pushed it away.

"No way, I'm not drinking again."

Kwest shook his head again. "It'll help your hangover and won't get you drunk. It's only one glass."

Jude eyed Kwest before popping the pills into her mouth and gulping down the entire glass.

"After you eat we're gonna hit the news stands and see what the tabs have out before we go to G Major." The look in Kwest's eye was slightly amused, but slightly concerned at the same time. Jude wanted to hit him, but she knew Georgia and Darius would ambush her with questions about what happened. And Kwest, although being an ass, was just looking out for her.

Jude nodded and began to eat the fluffy pancakes very quickly. She wondered when the last time she ate was, and realized it had been the lunch break she took yesterday.

"Starving?"

"Just about." She finished up the breakfast and set the plate down on the coffee table.

"You wanna stop at your place and get some new clothes or something?" Kwest suggested.

Jude looked down and realized she was still wearing her little black dress from the party. It smelt something like smoke and tequila. She shrugged and stood up. "I don't mind."

With that the two headed out towards the nearest newsstand, about twenty minutes towards the studio.

"So your… er… house is nice." Jude hadn't really gotten a tour and wasn't paying attention to the outside of Kwest's living quarters when they left.

"It's a condo, and it's ok. I don't make much at G Major so I can't afford much more."

Jude nodded. "It's better than my place. And your neighborhood is nice."

Kwest smiled. "Yeah, same place I grew up in. Couldn't leave it for the world."

"Was that picture in your house of your parents?" Jude realized she didn't know a thing about Kwest.

"Yeah…" He looked very distant for a few minutes and Jude wondered what she had said wrong. "They both passed a while ago."

"Oh," She grimaced, "I'm so sorry."

Kwest merely shrugged, but he hadn't looked at Jude since the topic was brought up. "No big deal. My mom died almost ten years ago in a car accident on her way to work." He tensed up a bit. After all, they were in a car on their way to work. "My dad wasn't the same since, he died a few years later; but he really died in that car crash with my mom."

Jude felt horribly for bringing up all these past memories in Kwest's life. "I know my parents are still alive," They both winced, "But I can relate. I haven't had parents since my dad had an affair."

Kwest nodded and looked over at Jude for a brief second, just long enough to give her a look that said 'I really appreciate you, Jude.'

_Ugh, why did I chose to be just friends with him again?_ Jude's mind reeled as blush tinted her cheeks.

"How much money do you have?" Kwest interrupted her thoughts. The car came to a stop in front of a newsstand.

"Uhhh…" Jude realized she had no pockets so she shrugged. "Just one second." Kwest was taken aback as Jude began to plunder her bra. Soon her hand shot out with money.

"Secret hiding place." Jude commented with a smile at his slack-jawed stare.

Kwest gathered his composure and unbuckled. "Right."

The two gathered up as many magazines they could find with a mention of Jude on the cover. Some even were headlining stories over her promiscuous night out.

Throughoutthe ride towork Jude leafed through about half of the stories and burst out laughing each time. "Did I really do this?" She asked Kwest at a stoplight, showing him a picture of herself that looked like she was using him for a stripper's pole.

"You really did that." He laughed and shook his head.

The ride to G Major continued this way. Upon arrival Jude gathered up the tabloids and scurried into the building, hoping to avoid the accusations all together. No such luck.

"Jude Harrison! What did you _do_ last night!"

Jude skidded to a halt, almost through the door of Studio A, and turned around gloomily. But what she saw was not Darius or Georgia; it was EJ.

"I cannot believe you just went out and completely opened yourself up like this." EJ was not at all mad. In fact, she was almost giddy. "You got on the cover of _Tune In_!"

Jude smiled slightly and shrugged. "Honestly, EJ, I don't even remem-" Then the tornado hit.

"What were you _thinking_ exactly? You put yourself in a lot of unwanted limelight, practically named yourself the next Anna Nicole Smith! And in all of it you involved Kwest! You're producer for part of your album! You practically scarred G Major, Jude!" Georgia was standing there with a look that meant business, hands on her hips and all.

Jude took a step back. She had never seen Georgia so angry. Well, maybe that one time when she had managed to break an entire soundboard with one cup of coffee. "G… I-I…" She could only manage to say one thing. "I'm of age."

She immediately regretted it.

"It doesn't _matter_ if you are 18 or not. The fact is, Kwest is like twice your age and people are calling him a pedophile, you a whore, and G Major a trashy company!"

"No one thinks G Major is a trashy company, G!" Jude sighed and rolled her eyes. "They think I'm a trashy girl. And I can deal with it! As trashy as I may be, I'm a big girl now and people aren't going to blame G Major for my one night out."

Georgia narrowed her eyes. "You don't snap back at me, Jude Harrison!" Jude felt like Georgia was her mother scolding her for eating the entire tub of ice cream before Sadie could get any.

"Look, I'm sorry, ok? I wanted to have fun, and Kwest wanted me to have fun, so we went out. Nothing happened!" But Jude didn't know that for sure.

Kwest shot Jude a scorning look for bringing him into the conversation.

"And you!" Georgia turned to Kwest, who was standing next to Jude. "You taking her out for the paparazzi to feed on her all night. You didn't even stop her!"

Kwest shook his head. "G, one night out isn't going to kill me, Jude, or the company." Georgia was still uneasy and feverish. "I promise."

Georgia eyed them both carefully. She sighed and gave up eventually. "Get to work, then." She walked away and shouted back, "Make me a new hit!"

Jude and Kwest skittered into the studio and finally got to take a breath. They took their respective seats and sat in silence for a few minutes, soon interrupted by Jude's curiosity.

"What exactly happened last night?"

Kwest twiddled his thumbs a few minutes before gingerly answering. "Nothing between us, if that's what you're asking."

Jude raised an eyebrow at him. She had seen the pictures, and she was definitely all over him.

"Well, nothing much." He smiled rather slyly.

Jude punched him scornfully. "Hey! Taking advantage of me when I'm drunk?"

Kwest shook his head with a small laugh. "No, I couldn't keep you off me. Trust me, I tried." Before Jude could punch him again he continued to talk. "You know I didn't mean it like that, I would have been all for it if you weren't drinking. I didn't want to take advantage of you at all."

She smiled at him and nodded. "Thanks. You really helped me out."

"Well you were about to pass out and I didn't know where the keys to your apartment were," At this he eyedher chest in the most nonsexual way possible, "So I just let you crash on my couch."

Jude shrugged and folded her arms. "So I kissed you, then?"

"Pretty much as many times as you could sneak in." He grinned. "You just can't help fallin' for the Kwest man more than once." He stood up an backed away to make sure he wasn't in her reach.

"Hey! You know that time in my apartment was you, not me." Jude jumped up as well and followed him.

"Pshhft! As if, Harrison. You were on me like Barbie on Ken."

Jude made a lash out to try and get him for his innuendos but Kwest was too quick. He stumbled back trying to get away from Jude's swipe though and ran into something, or rather, someone.

"Oof!"

Kwest swiveled around and came face-to-face with a very sour looking somebody.

"How much did you hear?" He asked.

"Enough." The person answered.


	9. Chapter 9

**a/n:** So this chapter is short, but I like it :) And it's a quick update for you guys.

* * *

"Man, what are you _thinking_?" The person behind Kwest nearly shouted. 

Kwest stepped aside angrily and a very frazzled, red, clench-fisted Tommy stepped in. Suddenly Jude felt the tense air fill up her lungs.

Tommy folded his arms and shut the studio door. Jude plopped back down into her seat and stared at the two, wondering slightly if chaos would suddenly break loose.

"What do you mean, 'what am I thinking'? You of all people should know." Kwest had been riled up. About what, Jude was not quite sure.

"What are you talking about? You went and exploited Jude in front of cameras. You could at least hook up somewhere private." Tommy was practically spitting rage. Jude could tell that Kwest was holding something in and fighting with himself about it. Tommy, on the other hand, was ready to knock Kwest out. She didn't understand how best friends could suddenly be so angry without anything really happening.

"You are such a god damn hypocrite!"

"I thought you of all people would respect Jude enough to not let her get shit-face drunk and let everyone see. At least you! She deserves better then that." Shock overwhelmed Jude from the compliment and concurrent insult.

"We were just having a good time, Jude is a normal person too. And don't you dare go insulting me, because the last time I checked you were whipping Jude around like she didn't deserve shit because you couldn't decide between her and her sister. So don't _even_ act like I did something wrong."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Kwest. I never did anything to Jude but try and protect her. She can't have horny, middle-aged men grab-assing her in the place she works!"

She was too numbed to protest. A) Tommy had hurt her many many times. B) Tommy grab-assed her more than Kwest did. C) She didn't need protection any more. Apparently the age had sunk through everyone's head, but not her maturity.

"That is exactly what you do and you know it. Only, you're worse! You go for her every time some one else has her and then when you have the chance you dump her flat on her face. Admit it!"

Tommy grinded his teeth and looked ready to pounce. He didn't know what to say to Kwest, because he was right. He didn't want to punch him, though; that could lead to much worse consequences.

He took an alternative by grabbing the nearest glass item and throwing it viciously near Kwest. It shattered on the wall and he flew out of the room, slamming the door behind them.

Jude sat and stared at the door for a long time. She didn't notice Kwest starting to pick up the pieces of glass on the floor, but she knew that right now was right for confrontation.

"Hey," Jude stood up and opened the door. She stopped in the doorway and waited for Kwest to look up. "Thanks." He nodded and she walked away.

_Where would Tommy go to cool off after a fight?_ Jude pondered this for a few minutes before coming up with an obvious answer.

"The alleyway…" She whispered as she approached the egress to her spoken destination.

Sure enough, Tommy was standing out in the alleyway leaned up against a railing with a cigarette in-between his index and middle fingers. Jude watched as he took a puff and leaned down farther into the bar.

"What was that all about?" She finally asked after a minute of watching him.

Tommy looked startled for a moment. He flicked the cigarette to the ground and looked at Jude with torn eyes.

"Just looking out for you…" Tommy muttered as he crushed the stogie under his shoe.

Jude snorted involuntarily. _Please, Quincy. You weren't looking out for me when you moved away. You weren't looking out for me when you didn't call. You weren't looking out for me when you told me about Joanne. You knew I would be upset. _Her mind was practically screaming, but she refrained herself. The last thing she wanted was more arguments. Besides, she wanted to gradually show Tommy what he did. _He'll be guiltier that way._

Jude smirked to herself, then continued to inquire Tommy. "Looking out for me about what, exactly?"

He shrugged, trying to convey a careless yet caring attitude. "Just from the media, Jude. I honestly never thought that Kwest…"

"Would like me?" She asked impulsively.

"Yeah- I mean, no. Not that it's just," He sighed, "I never thought he'd do something like. Well."

Jude had caught Tommy. She knew what he meant, and she felt rather irritated by it. _He never thought that Kwest would go for me, especially since I was so young. He's such a-_

"I missed you a lot in the states." Tommy reached back into his pocket and pulled out another cigarette.

She ignored his comment. It was most likely a ploy to stray the conversation away from the fight. Jude leaned into the railing like Tommy and watched him smoking moments before breaking the silence. "I thought you quit?"

He shook his head. "Only when I'm calm." He smiled at his own joke and Jude followed suite.

Awkward silence overwhelmed the two. Jude stood and took in the nostalgic scent of Tommy's smoke. Tommy let himself calm down.

_Screw guilt, he should feel it anyways._ She looked at his face and searched for a dominating emotion. "You knew I needed you."

Tommy coughed roughly and Jude's blunt comment. "What?" He acted dumb, but he knew.

"You know what. When you left for California. I was completely alone, Tommy. I didn't have my parents, I didn't have my friends, I didn't have Sadie, but I had you. And then you left. What was I supposed to do?" She gave all her air in her blurt of emotion and stood straight, gasping for breath.

Tommy stared at her for a long time. "I don't know," was all he could manage.

Jude shook her head in repulsion and looked away, but her head was brought back to look at Tommy witha gentle hand.

"I couldn't be here. Sadie and I were over, and I was so tempted." Tommy shook his head as if at his own self-disgust. His hand returned to the railing and his gaze returned to the nothingness ahead of them "I needed to get away from here more than you needed me, and the offer was right there staring me in the face. I had to take it, Jude."

She wasn't satisfied. It was completely selfish, completely wrong. She didn't care if he was tempted with anything; it was no excuse to kick her when she was down.

After Tommy realized Jude wasn't going to reply he pushed the conversation himself. "All I'm asking for is a fresh start. You don't have to forgive me."

Jude considered this for a while. Soon enough she decided. "No, Tommy. I'm not going to forget everything again just because you ask me. It happened; I don't know why you can't deal with it like everyone else. People have baggage, even you."

"I'm not asking you to forget it either."

"Then what do you want from me, Tommy!" Jude threw her hands up and backed away. "You come back after leaving me for two years and expect everything to be ok? You didn't call me once, not once! It's like no matter what you do, I'm supposed to still lo-like you. But I can't keep hoping you'll do something for me, not just for yourself. What do you _want_?" She stumbled a few times but brought her high-woman composure back up quickly.

"I want you to realize that I care about you! I'm not as perfect as you expect me to be."

"I don't expect anything from you anymore." Her tone was completely frozen.

"I've changed, Jude." He called as she walked away.

Jude turned around and went completely blank. "Prove it."

"I can't."

She sighed. "Just be my producer, Tommy." Jude walked away without looking back, but flinched slightly when she heard the faint voice of Tommy speaking to himself.

"I can't yet."

**

* * *

a/n: **I almost wanted to completely re-write this completely different just because it's so obvious, but I can't help it. I really liked it so I hope it wasn't too predictable for ya'll. 

As for a lost chapter:

Maybe :) If I feel like it.


	10. Chapter 10

**a/n:** Alright, so this is even longer than chapter 5 :) I'm proud. Hopefully I can get some more readers soon.

All of the new characters introduced in this chapter belong to me, and so does the song. Nothing else does.

* * *

The week went by without much incident. Jude decided she would be best off ignoring Tommy throughout the day the best she could. She had a song written up and was pending on the recording option. Kwest liked it, Tommy thought it could use some work. The two had been constantly bickering ever since the argument, but seemed to make up a few days afterward.

Christmas was only a week away and Darius had hit Jude with a lot of work. He asked her to do a duet with one of the new American artists that were freshly shipped in. On Christmas Eve G Major was holding a party (small and press-free) with gift exchange. She needed to write a Christmas themed song with Damien, the new artist, and go shopping for some presents and another new dress.

It had been three days straight of sitting in the studio for hours with no progress whatsoever. By then both had become comfortable enough with each other to agree that the aspect of a duet was not going to fly. The two were sitting on the ground of Studio A. Jude had a pencil and pad gripped tightly in her hands, Damien sat a few feet away with a dumbstruck look on his face.

"People are only going to listen to it around _Christmas_, and that would make less money, right? So why do we have to sing a _Christmas_ song?" He spoke with a slight British accent.

"Because Darius is a tyrant and gets what he wants." Jude tossed her notebook aside. She was tired of sitting behind the glass, having Tommy check on them every half an hour, and each time him saying, "Still nothing?"

"What about... A Christmas love song?" Damien sat on the stool before the microphone used for recording.

"Yeah, but there's no _inspiration _for that." Jude surveyed Damien as he grimaced in front of her. He was tall, or taller than her at least, with a thin toned physique, and black hair. His eyes were a surprising green and he looked like a rock artist. Jude had never heard him sing or play anything, so she didn't know what his sound was for sure. In fact, she barely knew any of the new artists at all. There were five total: Damien, Tristin, Roger, Allie, and Max. Tommy was producing Jude, Damien, and Tristin while Kwest took over Roger. Allie and Max were produced by some of the new producers. Jude assumed both Damien and Tristin were around her age, but the other three looked older.

"Well... what happened on your last Christmas?" He asked her.

Jude shrugged. "Nothing." She lifted herself up for a moment to tuck her legs under her. "What about yours?"

"Oh, er..." He bit his lip. "Nothing really."

She quirked a brow at him. "Doesn't sound like a nothing to me."

He shook his head. "Nothing important."

"But it might work for the song." She was practically pleading him for his story. Anything to get some lyrics started.

An embarrassed look crossed over his face, but he quickly brushed it away. "I proposed to my girlfriend."

"Oh, wow!" Jude didn't think he looked like the commitment type. "So, you're married?"

"No," Flush arose to his cheeks and he spoke quietly, "She didn't accept."

Jude felt horribly and found herself blushing too. "Oh, I'm sorry..."

"It's ok, really. We weren't meant to be." Damien shook his head and smiled.

She nodded and bit her lip, thoughts churning around in her blonde head.

"I have an idea."

"Yeah?" Damien looked up with a small smile of hope.

"What about," She grabbed her notepad, "A girl asking for a guy to get back together for her Christmas present, but…" Jude looked at him for some input.

"But his gift this Christmas is getting over her." He smiled and picked up the two acoustics in the corner of the room.

"Aren't we going to write the lyrics?"

"No, I say wego freestyle." Jude wasn't sure, but he wasn't paying attention to it.

"Alright..." She muttered.

Handing one guitar to Jude, Damien sat on the stool and began to strum a popping tune. "_It was last Christmas on my Christmas list_," His voice was so solacing and ripened, she had expected something much more rough.

Jude took a seat on the stool next to him and joined in. "_That my number one wish was your kiss,"_ Jude grinned widely. It felt refreshing to finally pull something out of her tired mind. _Maybe this will work after all_, She thought.

"_But when you didn't show up that night," _

_"I knew that you were giving up on this." _Jude began to play her guitar and a strummed faster and gave the next part of the song, which she intended to be the chorus, a crisper sound.

_"Don't come back this Christmas, I'm not gonna unwrap you this year. Don't ask for me from Saint Nicholas, your presence won't bring me any cheer." _

Jude was surprised; Damien was definitely a lyrics kind of person. His music was more media-based than Jude hoped, but she could counter balance it with some of her raw style.

After a few chords Jude joined back in for another verse. _"I heard from you in a Hallmark card." _

_"Being without me was much too hard." _Damien grinned over at Jude.

She groaned andcommented to herself,_Cocky much?_ _"And after all this time had passed." _

_"You thought I'd run back to your arms." _

Jude began the same up-tempo chorus lines and decided to join in this time.

They both sang, _"Don't come back this Christmas, I'm not gonna unwrap you this year. Don't ask for me from Saint Nicholas, your presence won't bring me any cheer." _

The two were so wrapped up in their forming hit that they didn't notice Tommy come into the studio. It was another thirty minute check-up and he was expecting to see them still lounging in their same positions. Naturally he was shocked that both were playing excitedly.

"Wow," Tommy listened in on the song. He was impressed on how they managed to come up with lyrics and rough chords within now andthe last time he had been in here.

_"Last Christmas you wrapped me up my heart."_ Jude's voice sounded through Tommy's ears. _God, I love that voice._ He thought.

_"Too bad you had managed to break it apart."_ Tommy was pleased by Darius's choices. Jude was his protégé, Damien reminded him of himself, and Tristin reminded him of when Jude first won instant star. It was all familiar and he knew just how to work with each.

_"I never thought I would need a receipt." _

_"But I should have known from the start." _

_"Don't come back this Christmas, I'm not gonna unwrap you this year. Don't ask for me from Saint Nicholas, your presence won't bring me any cheer."_ Damien and Jude sounded great together. Tommy noted their chemistry and felt a bit of anger peeking. He quickly ignored it and focused on the song.

_"Don't come back this Christmas, I'm not gonna unwrap you this year. Don't ask for me from Saint Nicholas, your presence won't bring me any cheer." _

_"This year I made a new Christmas list," _Jude began to slow her notes down and Damien followed suite.

_"And you are the last thing I will miss."_

Jude set down her guitar. She jumped up and hugged Damien tightly as he put his own acoustic down. He made a small 'oof!' and Jude quickly let go.

"Sorry," She muttered.

Damien chuckled. "It's alright."

A loud clearing throat interrupted the two. Jude spun around and saw Tommy leaning against the glass barrier that separated the recording booth and the mixing table.

"Sounded great." He said with a puckered smile, clearly frustrated. At what, Jude was not quite sure.

"Thanks." Damien sidled past Tommy and turned just before leaving the room. "Want something in the kitchenette?" He asked Jude.

"Coffee, thanks." She sat back on her stool and smiled as Damien walked away.

Tommy walked over to sit down next to her. He picked up Damien's guitar and began strumming the faint tune of _Frozen_.

"After three days and you come up with that in a half an hour?" He glanced at Jude with a huge sarcastic grin.

"Shut up," She punched him playfully and shook her head, "There was no inspiration until just a half an hour ago."

Tommy shrugged. "You guys seem to be getting along." He fought back a frown.

"Well, I just met the guy and Darius already forced me into a duet with him. It's not like I really have a choice, do I? I thought Little Tommy Q., of all people, would know that." Jude emphasized the "little" in his nickname.

"Ouch." He grasped his heart and gave a great, fake, painful expression.

Jude laughed quietly. She silently scolded herself for talking to Tommy at all, but it was nice to be like before. Not before like before Tommy told her about Joanne, but before like before Tommy left at all.

"So why exactly did Darius bring a bunch of American no-names?" Her smile subsided and she felt she could now brush herhair out of her face.

"Well to Canada they're no-names, but in America they're big. And you're a no-name in America, but big in Canada. Darius and the manager of Cape Cove collaborated: you get publicity in America and they get publicity here." Tommy looked into Jude's eyes for the first time since the party. He felt mesmerized in an instant; she was incredibly beautiful and he couldn't deny it any more. Not just because she was older, but because he had gone so long without her. Now he needed to see her more often to make up for the two years he missed.

"Oh, right…" It made sense to Jude. She thought long about all the duets she would have to do before she noticed Tommy's gaze.

"What?" She wasn't going to play into the moment game any more.

"Nothing." But he couldn't rip himself away.

"What?" Jude repeated.

"Jude, I-"

"Tommy?" He jumped up from his seat to see Joanne standing in the doorway. "Oh, there you are!" She smiled and flashed Jude her immaculate whites.

"Hey, babe…" Tommy slowly walked over and wrapped his arm around her waist, planting a firm kiss on her lips.

"Darius wants us getting to work." She smiled so innocently, she couldn't possibly know of Tommy's strayed thoughts upon a different woman.

"Of course." Tommy turned around looked at the paling Jude. "You and Damien work on that song, alright?"

Jude nodded. The couple retreated and she glared as they left. Before Jude knew it, someone was shoving a cup of coffee into her face.

"Thanks." She looked up and found Damien towering over her.

He took a seat and stared at her crumpled expression. "What was that all about?"

"Just Tommy and his girlfriend, _getting to work_." Jude scowled and took sip of her coffee. Unfortunately for her, it was scolding hot. She shouted out an obscenity and dropped the cup, which promptly shattered all over the ground.

Damien raised his eyebrows at her. He didn't get why she was so worked up.

The two got down and began gathering pieces of the cup up. "So what's the deal with you and Tommy, then?"

Jude gritted her teeth. "He's my producer."

"Obviously," He smiled and looked up at her, "But really, what's going on?"

"It's not like it's any of your business." She snapped. Immediately Jude regretted it; Damien had been nothing but friendly to her. "Sorry, it's a touchy subject."

"It's ok, I understand. I'm just a stranger." Damien attempted to stand up to throw the pieces away, but tripped over his guitarand fell to the ground. After cursing loudly he opened up his hand to reveal a mutated palm and bloody porcelain chips.

Jude grimaced at the site. "He was my producer when I was 15." She motioned for him to get up and follow her. The two headed towards the kitchenette. "And when I was 17 hejust suddenly moved away." Damien shook his hand over a garbage pail to let the loose pieces fall in. "Now he's back." The two stood by the sink; Damien rinsed his hand off and Jude tried to pluck a few of the stubborn shards out.

"That's it?" His brows were furrowed in pain, but his voice didn't showcase it.

"There was always something going on." Jude got the last bit out and tossed it down the drain. "But I was too young. Now I'm older, though." She shrugged.

Damien wrapped a paper towel around his wounded hand and traveled back into Studio A. "How old are you now?"

"Almost 19." She fell into one of the plush, mixing chairs. "You?"

"20." He sat in the other vacant seat and turned to face her. "It's hard moving somewhere so suddenly when you don't know anyone." Damien felt he should exchange some of his story for hers.

"Didn't you work for Cape Cove?" Jude thought that he had been working with Tommy and Joanne beforehand.

"Yeah, but I had a different producer." He licked his lips. "I don't get it, though; I making plenty of money in America. I had plenty of inspiration too." Damien snorted. Jude knew he was referring to his unaccepted proposal.

"Don't worry, it'll get easier." Jude leaned forward. "Scouts honor." She held three fingers out around her shoulder.

Damien chuckled. "Well that leaves me no doubt." His tone oozed sarcasm. Jude smacked his leg and he retaliated with sticking out his tongue.

A loud 'ahem!' sounded from behind the two, and they immediately turned around. "Working on the song?" Kwest and Tommy stood in the doorway of the Studio.

"Working on it." Jude growled. Such party poopers, they were.

"Doesn't look like it." Tommy gave Jude a stern look.

Jude scoffed, staring right back. After a minute of awkward silence, Jude stood up in a pouty flounce. "Yes, master."

She retreated into the sound booth and picked up her guitar harshly.

Damien and Kwest exchanged looks, and Damien took his respective seat next to Jude.

Tommy sat in the chair he had previously been sitting in and leaned into the microphone. "Lets start with the chords."

Kwest lounged next to Tommy and shook his head. "Man."

"What?" Tommy snapped.

"Nothing." Kwest looked sympathetically at the two artists in the recording booth, and felt especially sorry for the blonde one.


	11. Chapter 11

Ack, seems like people are getting disinterested. I really appreciate the support I get, and I'm glad some of you guys liked the last chapter. If you were disappointed than I hope this one makes it up :)

The song in this chapter belongs to Vamessa Carlton. It's one of my favorites.

* * *

Tommy had forced Jude and Damien to stay and work on the song until almost midnight; Darius was growing anxious and Tommy didn't want to piss him off any more. All that was left the next day was the mixing.

Jude arrived at G Major late. She hit the snooze button twice that morning because of her late night.

In Studio A she found Tommy and Kwestwith headphones, both hunched over the sound board like hungry hyenas waiting to feast on an elk.

"Busy?" She asked as she slid in between Tommy and his work.

"Very," He sounded aggravated. Jude noticed the bags under his eyes and unusually messy hair. "Now if you'll just move."

She scowled at him. Touchy, touchy. "What do you want me to do then?"

"I'll call you when I need you." He waved her off and Jude scoffed loudly.

"And maybe I won't be available." She stalked out of the room and out of G Major all together. It was time for some shopping, major shopping.

"Where you going to?"

Jude spun around and saw a smiling Damien standing a few feet away. "Shopping. Care to join?" _I could use a shopping partner.Plus I can really dish out on Tommy to him away from the Studio._ Jude liked that Damien let her vent; the only other person she had been able to talk to was Kwest, and that was more than awkward.

"Uh, aren't we supposed to be working?" He was so naive to the way he could work at G Major.

"Tommy and Kwest are busy mixing, so we have no producers for approximately 3 hours, there won't be anything to work on." She smiled coaxingly.

Damien glanced around as though he was afraid he would get yelled at for leaving and cautiously followed Jude out of the building. The two climbed into her car and drove off without looking back.

The Toronto mall was completely packed, and unusually so for a Monday morning. Then again, it was winter break for the students.

"I need a dress, so you can look around if you want to."

Damien shrugged. "I'll tag along. I might get lost." He laughed sheepishly, but it was the truth.

Jude shook her head and found the boutique that she had gotten her last birthday dress from. Inside the store multiple sales clerks flocked over, but the tallest dominated and shooed the others away.

"'Ello!" The woman had a clearly fake French accent and a cake of makeup on her face. "Would you like some help finding your size and right fit?"

Jude shook her head. "No, I'm fine, thank you."

"Oh," The woman looked at her, clearly distraught, andwalked away.

"So rude." Damien muttered.

Jude turned around and frowned at him. "You try dealing with French Toast over there." She nodded at all the loud bickering coming from the cash register.

He laughed. "No, thank you. I like my women to eat their cake, not wear it."

She laughed and began to look through the dresses hanging up on wracks all around.

"What do you think?" Just held up a wild looking dress made of feathers.

"Lovely. Might as well not even look for another dress." He was almost convincing, but Jude noticed the sarcasm and chuckled.

"Eurgh." She put it back and continued to look.

Damien picked it up and held it to his chest and puckered his lips. "Well then maybe I'll just have to buy it for myself!"

Jude laughed loudly. The sales ladies glowered so she muffled herself with her hand. "I'm sure Tommy wouldn't be able to resist you."

"Oh, goody, I love Boyz Attack!" He rolled his eyes and put it back.

"I figured. Though you seem more like a Chaz fan to me." Jude had gathered a bunch of dresses and had them cloaked over her arm.

"Oh, I love me some Chaz, don't get me wrong. But Tommy's got the 'I pout because I can, and you like it' look going for him."

Jude gasped and had to hold a hand over her mouth again. _Is he reading my mind or something?_ She thought. "How do figure?"

Damien smirked. "Because he pouts every time you're even talking to another guy." He paused dramatically. "And you _like_ it."

"Do not!" Jude retorted rather immaturely.

He guffawed and she glared in return. "So defensive."

"I have a right."

He merely shrugged.

Jude tried on her dresses and picked out a simple red dress. It was very casual, but presentable. She loved the boutique, despite the women that worked there.

"That took like two hours. Just for a _dress_." Damien complained as the two walked towards the food court for some lunch.

"It took like one, and I wanted the perfect dress." She replied simply.

"Then you should have bought the feather one." He couldn't help but laugh at the incredulous look on Jude's face. "Kidding."

"Better be." She muttered.

Damien sniggered. "Or what?"

"Or… I'll have to use my intense Kong Fu skills." She settled in line of Subway and gave him a threatening grin.

"Oh, spare me!" He cried and laughed at the same time, which resulted in a fit of hacking coughs.

Jude laughed. "The coughs might getcha first." She patted his back and turned around to order.

Damien decided not to try and come back, and ordered his food complacently.

_"Oh, he's under my skin_

_Just give me something-"_

Jude quickly snatched her phone from her pocket and tucked it between her ear and shoulder without looking at the ID.

"Hello?" She paid for the subs and the two sat down at a table to eat.

"We need you in here to start recording _Put Your Hands On Me_." Tommy's voice grunted through her phone.

"I'm eating lunch, I'll be there in a little bit."

"Box it up, I want it recorded by Wednesday and we won't accomplish that unless we spend a while in the studio. You're just making a later night for all of us."

"I thought you didn't want to record it until we worked on the lyrics?" Jude was starting to get annoyed now. A couple of crying kids walked by and she massaged her temple in frustration.

Tommy sighed. "Where are you?"

"Mall."

"Get down here, girl, go to the mall on your own time." Tommy sounded aggravated as well.

"Whatever." And with that she shut her phone.

"What was that all about?" Damien said through a mouthful of chicken and bacon ranch goodness.

Jude wrapped her sub back up. "I need to go back to the studio."

"Oh." He finished his bite and packed up his own lunch.

The entire ride to the studio was silent. Jude was fighting between her rage at Tommy and wondering why he was acting so menopausal. Damien was just lost. He knew that Jude and Tommy had a delicate relationship, but he didn't know just how delicate.

They arrived twenty minutes later and Jude spotted Tommy on the couch of the lobby. She felt anger fill up her lungs, so she turned and looked at Damien.

He had a look of 'whatever you're thinking don't involve me' on his face, but Jude ignored it. On her tiptoes she planted a small kiss on his cheek and gave him a little hug.

"Thanks for coming with me." She smiled toopleasantly and walked over to the disgruntled Tommy on the couch. "Ready?"

Tommy's lips were thinned to small lines. "Right." He shot up and briskly walked to Studio A.

"Where's Kwest?" Jude asked when they entered the room.

"Took the day off."

"Right…"

The two stood in awkward silence. Tommy shut the door and looked intensely at Jude. Jude just tried her best not to look at Tommy.

"So, the song…"

"The lyrics still need some work."

"I know."

Tommy pause before speaking. "Why are we doing this?" He took a step closer to Jude.

"W-what are you talking about?" She took a step back. _Tommy's with somebody else. He's not single, remember that. Don't do anything stupid. _

"Fighting!" Tommy threw his hands up. "It's just ridiculous. Can't you even talk to me like you used to?"

"No!" Jude took another step back. She was almost cornered.

"_Why?_" Tommy looked the closest to broken that Jude had ever seen him. _It couldn't all just be because of me._ She thought.

"Because I still don't trust you." Jude could tell that something was really bothering Tommy. The hopeless look on his face and the emotion in his voice told it all; he was usually very put-together. "What's really bothering you?"

Tommy suddenly seemed to realize his outburst of emotions and stiffened up. "Nothing."

"If you want me to be your friend you're going to have to confide in me, Tommy. So stop lying for once. Tell me the truth." She was close to tears. Funny how when Tommy was gone she hadn't cried but once or twice. Now that he was back she felt like an emotional roller coaster all the time.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Joanne…" Tommy looked confused and shook his head. "I think she expects me to propose tonight."

"What?" Jude was far from expecting that.

"I don't know, Portia explained and…" He shook his head again. "I shouldn't be talking about this."

Jude fell back against the wall. "We can't be like we used to, at all. You're not the same Tommy that I, that I used to know." She almost said 'that I used to love,' but she caught herself.

"What am I supposed to do? I don't want to get married." Tommy looked completely lost. Truthfully he was fighting between whether he wanted to commit to a girl he loved, or breaking up with her because he knew it wouldn't last. But he didn't even know if he loved her at all.

She let out a breath of relief when he said that. "Then don't ask her to." Jude thought it was that simple.

He shook his head for the umpteenth time and slid down the wall. "She won't be happy and I'm working with her on my album-"

"You're working on your album again?" Jude didn't even know. Now it made sense; _Frozen_ being in the mixer and Tommy having to 'get to work' with Joanne.

"Yeah, I have been for about 6 months. Lots of songs, but no passion behind them." Jude slid down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"That's how my second album ended, that's how this album began." She looked into his eyes for the first time. They were just like a storm at sea; so dark and cloudy, they practically took Tommy back to his 'brooding, misunderstood teenager' stage. He knew that Jude was blaming her fizzling passion on his leaving.

"I'm sorry I left you." Jude couldn't believe it. _Is he drunk?_

She could only speak what she felt. "I'm sorry you left too." Jude looked down and let her hair fell in front of her face; she liked to hide this way.

A hand reached over and tucked her hair behind her ears. Jude shivered when Tommy's hand brushed against her cheek. _I'm supposed to be mad at him. But how can I when he's so… so…_

"I don't know what I was thinking bringing her back with me, girl." Jude knew he was talking about Joanne. It was amazing how they could say so little to each other and it conveyed so much.

"Love makes you do crazy things."

"Yeah." Tommy tore his eyes away from the beautiful woman beside him. He was tempting himself and it wouldn't be right.

"I'm not a girl anymore, you know." Jude wanted to point this out to him so badly.

"I know." He had a look of realization on his face. But he wouldn't let himself loose control. "We better get working on your song."

"Right…" Jude stood up, clearly disgruntled. _Why can't he just admit his feelings, now?_ She asked herself.

Tommy took his seat and Jude found her place in the recording booth, guitar in hand.

"I want to do my original lyrics."

For a minute Tommy hesitated, but he nodded and gave the thumbs up for Jude to sing.

_"I first saw you at the video exchange  
I know my heart and it will never change  
This temp work would be alright if you'd call me  
You'd call me_

_I lie awake at night  
And for you I pray_

_We crossed the deepest oceans  
Cargo across the sea  
And if you don't believe me  
Just put your hands on me  
And all the constellations shine down on you and me  
And if you don't believe me  
Just put your hands on me, oh no_

_The subway radiates with heat  
We've barely met  
And still I cross the street to your door_

_We crossed the deepest oceans  
Cargo across the sea  
And if you don't believe me  
Just put your hands on me  
And all the constellations shine down on you and me  
And if you don't believe me  
Just put your hands on me."_

Tommy wished he could. He wished he hadn't made the mistake of leaving in the first place. Deep down he knew he left only so he didn't have to face waiting for another year. He wanted to move on from his life here.

"_Some day when our stories are told  
They'll tell of a love like this  
When our descendents are all growing old  
A thousand years will be singing."  
_

He wanted to realize how he felt. He wanted to feel it freely so badly. But after years and years of burying every single stray feeling, he was almost numb to it all. His entire life he had been hiding from things unwanted.

_"We climb Tibetan mountains  
Where we can barely breathe  
I see the Dalai Lama  
I feel him blessing me  
And all the constellations shine down on you and me  
And if you don't believe me  
Just put your hands on me."_

Tommy couldn't deny much any more. Now everything was mixed up.

_"Your hands on me."_

Maybe marrying Joanne was the only way he could set things straight.

_"I first saw you at the video exchange."_


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning Jude expected to either see Joanne happily showing off an engagement ring or a sulky ex-couple avoiding each other. She was hoping desperately for the second scene, but she grew nervous. In fear that she might loose her chances forever, Jude didn't leave her apartment until almost noon. She pulled into G Major's parking lot at twelve-thirty and sat in her car for another five minutes.

"Tommy didn't propose. He doesn't want to get married and him and they are not meant to be." She reassured herself. _We are_, Jude wanted to say, but she and Tommy and never actually been a "we", so she didn't know.

When Jude entered the building everything seemed to be normal. She didn't see either Tommy or Joanne.

"Hey, Jude!" Georgia appeared next to her and smiled warmly.

"Hey, G." Jude smiled. She missed Georgia a lot since Darius's reign began. Georgia had only been hired back about a year ago, and now she was always busy. The last time she had even seen her was before Tommy arrived.

"So Darius is pleased that you have your Christmas single worked out." Jude could tell that she was excited about something. "And he wants you to make a music video."

"Really?" Jude grinned broadly. "On the Christmas single?"

"He's leaving it up to you, but he wants your choice in two weeks so he can approve the song and start working on the story board." Georgia was sincerely happy for Jude. The girl had gone through a rough period in her life, and hopefully things were clearing up.

"This is amazing, G!" She laughed and gave Georgia a small hug.

"So get deciding." Georgia pushed her shoulder slightly and walked off to do business of who knows what.

Jude's smile stayed on her face all the way until her self-proclaimed studio. When she entered the room it was a sight she never hoped to see again.

"Jude!" Somebody called out to her,but she was already out of the room. Her face burned like the sun and matched her natural hair color.

Jude could hear footsteps following her. She tried to avert attention and went behind a crowd of talking publicists. The only way to go from there was the one place that had always revealed so much emotion- the alley.

It was like a death trap, but Jude darted through the door anyway. She slumped down onto the concrete and felt the midday sun burn her pale scalp. _I can't believe it. I just can't believe he actually did it._

"Jude!" A door-closing '_clink!'_ was heard.

_Great_, she thought.

Somebody sat down next to her. She didn't have to look to know whom.

"Look, I didn't mean for you to walk in on that. I thought you were staying home today since you weren't in earlier."

"So it's ok to hump your girlfriend in the studio when I'm not here, but it isn't when I am?" Jude spat.

"No, that's not what I meant…"

"You never say what you mean, so why do you just say what you do mean for once, Tommy!" She looked at him with an angry stare. "What happened to 'I don't know what I was thinking bringing her back with me'? Huh?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "Things are complicated."

"_You're_ complicated." Jude couldn't figure him out.

"Just because you don't get it doesn't mean it doesn't make sense." Tommy snapped.

"Just because you think you get it doesn't mean it does!" Jude stood up and made to get away but he snatched her back.

"Look, I can't just end things with her because you want me to."

Jude felt her face flame up. "_I _never said _I_ wanted you to leave her. _You_ said you wanted to leave her! And _you_ lead me on again. It's like a game for you. Do you enjoy spinning me around in circles?"

Tommy grimaced. "You're overreacting."

Jude frownedat him for what seemed like an hour. "You know what, you're right; you aren't worth a reaction at all."

Tommy was too shocked at her words to grab her as she fled. He was expecting her to bite back, not her giving him thecold shoulder.

Tears were flooding Jude's eyesas she made her was to Studio C. The newbie studio, as everyone called it, was almost always empty. Sometimes people who were new and had never been in the studio before used it. It was more like a storage closet than a studio at all. The soundboard was half broken and there was no soundproofing. Darius hadn't even bothered to fix it up when he took over; he just created a whole new set of studios for newcomers.

She expected the room to be empty, as usual, but when she got there two people were sitting on the ground- one with a guitar and one with a pen and notpad.

"What are you guys doing?"

Kwest and Damien looked up at Jude with small smiles.

"Tommy ditched me for his thing, so Kwest offered to help me with a song." Damien piped and Kwest noddedfor verification.

"Just like him to leave you when you need him for something else." She growled.

In the lighting you couldn't see the red splotches on Jude's face or her puffy eyes, butKwest could tell something was wrong by the tone of her voice.

"Want to get a cup of coffee with me?" Kwest stood up and advanced towards her.

Jude looked down at Damien, who shrugged and began to strum on his guitar. "Sure."

The two walked over to the coffee pot. "So what did he do now?" Kwest examined her torn expression.

Jude bit her lip and tried to stop the waterworks. "He's marrying her."

"No way." Kwest looked at her disbelief. "Is he seriously that stupid?"

Jude collapsed her head into her arms on the kitchenette counter. "I can't believe it. I just can't believe he actually did it." She voiced her first thoughts once she found out to him.

"Where is he?"

She jabbed her thumb towards the door to the alleyway and Kwest was gone.

He strode over to the exit and found his sad excuse for a friend sitting on the ground, staring out into the sky.

"You are the stupidest guy I've ever met." Kwest walked over to him, but he didn't sit down.

"So Jude must have told you?" Tommy didn't look at him.

"Yeah." Kwest looked down at the ground, the sky was too bright for his comfort. "You knew she was waiting for you."

"What else was I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, maybe dump her and go for the girl you _really_ want."

"But I want Joanne." He said miserably.

"Maybe a little bit. But you would have never came back here if you didn't want Jude more."

Tommy stood up. "I can't evenwalkawaynow, I asked her to marry me. What am I supposed to say? 'Sorry, I know I proposed to you last night but I didn't mean it and now I'm taking it back.' That won't work, Kwest."

He shook his head. "You're can't marry girl you don't want to marry."

"But I can't be with a girl who doesn't want to be with me." Tommy threw his head back and groaned. "I really fucked this one up."

"She loves you, man. You just don't know how much." Kwest patted Tommy on the shoulder.

"So what am I supposed to do now?"

"Try being honest for once." He shrugged. "Just try it."

Tommy glared at Kwest as he walked away.

"By the way, Tom, this still doesn't mean I'm not mad at you." Kwestshouted as heleft.

Jude was already back in Studio C with Damien. She told him what Tommy had said,how he led her on, and then what she saw earlier that day. She shed a few tears and thanked him for listening to her.

"It's alright." He smiled at her reassuringly. He fidgeted slightly, not quite sure if he was qualified to hug her or not.

"You know you're the first person I've been able to talk to in a while." Jude sighed. "It's nice, you know?"

Damien nodded and smiled down on her still. She was the only person that didn't talk down on him because he was new to G Major. He was living in a hotel room until the company found him a permanent place to stay.

Jude wiped away her last tears and locked eyes with him. He was good looking, and she hadn't even noticed, being so wrapped up in Tommy. She liked him and he just listened to her like she was the only important thing in the world. Before did something like leaning in and kissing him, she reminded herself that it would only make things worse. _Right now I need someone to talk to about my love issues, not create more love issues with._ Jude settled with pulling him into a soft embrace. "Thank you."

Just then Kwest returned. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt." He muttered.

Jude shook her head and pulled away. "You didn't interrupt anything."

"I finished my lyrics." Damien said brightly.

_He's so optimistic,_ Jude laughed inwardly, _I need more people like him in my life._

"Good cause your producer won't be coming back any time soon." Kwest glanced at Jude for a split second, but he didn't let her notice.

"Can we record acoustic? I think it's meant to be an acoustic song."

"Yeah, lets go to Studio A."

The trio made their wayto the top-notch studio. Not surprisingly, Joanne was still seated in the plush engineer's seat.

"Hey," Joanne said complacently. Shewas so oblivious to Thomas Quincy and his heartache games. A small smile danced upon her face and Jude eyed the rock on her finger with a frown. "Do you know where Tommy is?"

At that moment Jude was so purely filled anger, sadness, and hatred that she almost burst. She didn't feel animosity towards Joanne any more; she couldn't. Joanne was oblivious to what Tommy meant to her and what she meant to Tommy. She was oblivious of how they felt about each other. Most of all she was oblivious to theunfaithful thoughts Tommy got whenever he was around Jude.

"He's gone home, I think." Kwest said solemnly.

"Oh," Joanne looked disappointed for a moment, "I guess I better go home too, then, and see if he's alright." She glanced at Jude a moment in confusion and then left with a wave goodbye.

"Err," Kwest closed the door behind her, "Except he won't be there."

"Why'd you say that then?" Jude asked suspiciously.

Kwest shrugged. "I figured he could use some alone time."

Damien found his guitar and settled behind the glass. "Chords or lyrics first?"

"Chords." Kwest spoke into the microphone. He turned off the communication option and hung his headphones around his neck. With a thumbs-up, Kwest started recording and Damien started playing. Jude snatched the other set of headphones and listened. It was very intricate and fast-paced. There were lots of little snags and Damien's hands were moving so incredibly fastthat Jude wondered how he managed.

"That's… amazing." She whispered without intention for anyone to hear.

Kwest turned and faced her. "Impressed?"

Jude blushed and nodded. Kwest chuckled slightly.

"I doubt I'll even have to have him do two takes of the music. Darius wouldn't have hired him if he didn't play so well." Kwest had his eyebrows raised as he lay out the facts for Jude.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, he says that Damien sounds too common. He could pick up any guy off the street that _sounded_ like him, but his playing won him over."

Jude frowned. She thought Damien was a great artist, even if media had one over his genre. "That sucks…"

"Yeah, not to mention his last album sort of flopped."

She looked confused. "But I thought he was popular in the States?"

"His first album went double platinum." Kwest said like it was nothing.

Jude frowned and put her headphones back on. When the song was over she took them off and smiled up at Damien and he smiled in return.

"Great, I think that will be perfect. We can do lyrics now. Hold on…" Kwest fidgeted with a few knobs on the soundboard. "When you hear the playback go ahead and sing."

Damien nodded and fumbled to pull a piece of paper out his pocket.

Jude quirked a brow at him. "He doesn't memorize the lyrics?" She asked Kwest.

"Nope. Another flaw in Darius's perfect world; he can't remember lyrics well enough to do a tour." Kwest began the playback.

Jude flinched and replaced the headphones on her delicate ears.

"_Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep  
This air is blessed you share with me  
This night is wild; so calm and dull  
These hearts they race from self-control  
Your legs are smooth as they graze mine  
We're doing fine,  
__We're doing nothing at all _

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me  
So won't you kill me, so I die happy  
My heart is yours to fill or burst  
To break or bury or wear as jewelry  
Which ever you prefer

The words are hushed lets not get busted  
Just lay entwined here, undiscovered  
Safe in here from all the stupid questions  
"Hey, did you get some?"  
Man, that is so dumb  
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear  
So we can get some

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me  
So won't you kill me, so I die happy  
My heart is yours to fill or burst  
To break or bury or wear as jewelry  
Which ever you prefer

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember  
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo  
The dim of the soft lights  
The scent of your hair that you twirled in your finger  
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late  
And this walk that we shared together  
The streets were wet and the gate was locked

_So I jumped it and I let you in  
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist  
And you kissed me like you meant it_

_  
And I knew that you meant it  
That you meant it  
That you meant it  
And I knew  
That you meant it  
That you meant it"_

Jude was bopping along to the song. She had managed to temporarily lose her thoughts of Tommy. It felt so good to get lost in the music again.

"That was great!" Jude bounced into the booth and hugged him.

"You really think so?" Damien smiled from ear to ear. His teeth were dull but his eyes lit up the smile completely.

"I really know so." She elbowed him and laughed. "What I didn't know is that you were such a rocking guitar player!"

"Thorough lessons since I was six." He nodded and let his grin fade to a small smile.

"Musical parents?"

"Parents that loved music more than they loved me." Damien was still smiling but Jude could hear the pain.

"Ouch." She whispered.

"So, I'll try and work with it, and tomorrow I'll let you know if it needs work." Kwest now joined the two in the room. He eyed the lingering hands from their hug, but he didn't say anything.

"I guess this is a night, then?" Damien asked unsurely.

"Yeah, go on home." Kwest laughed at Damien who waved and shot out of sight.

"Is there anything for me to do?" Jude walked over to Kwest and leaned against the wall.

"Well, you could always go see if Tommy is still sitting in the alleyway."

"Not a chance." She growled.

Kwest shrugged; it was worth a try. "Alright. Get on home now, ya here?"

Jude laughed and hugged him. "Bye." She kissed his cheek and left for a long night of songwriting. There was a video to be made.

**

* * *

**

**a/n: **This is a long authors note, but you should read anyways :)

**So I want you guys to help me decide: **

Should the video be of a song that has appeared in this, a song that is by somebody else, or should I write something up?

I can't decide / Opinions **please**.

Alsooo. I'll probably be updating every day, maybe even twice a day! But this is only for this week, and maybe not even for all of this week, cause It's spring break and I got sick yesterday :( So I can't go out and do anything and I don't have school.

The song in this chapter is Dashboard Confessionals' _Hands Down_. I love it and it's pretty popular but more than anything I love the acoustic version. So go out and download it :) I promise it's worth the $1.13 on iTunes.

Reveiws and advice are much appreciated E>


	13. Chapter 13

**a/n:** Haha, I love you guys. I think I'm gonna just mix everything that ya'll said together and hope everyone is happy :) But I have to say, this chapter had to be my **favorite** to write so far.

And I wrote up like three chapters yesterday, including this one, so now I can update whenever you guys are ready for another chapter. :)

* * *

For the next three days Jude managed to completely avoid both Tommy and Joanne. She had written up a song and Spiederman Mind Explosion came in to record with her. It wasn't even close to finished because she needed multiple backup voices and she didn't know whom to get. Damien had volunteered and she used him for the most significant male part. Spiederman also sang some backup for her, but she still needed three more singers. Of course she could do it herself, but there was another male vocal. Kwest, who had agreed to produce the song, offered his voice. Though she appreciated it, his version of the Batman theme song was more than appalling.

"Today is the Christmas party." Jude declared when she woke up Saturday morning. She had dropped off all her presents in Georgia's office the previous morning; EJ simply got a gift card to Starbucks, Kwest got a new set of headphones, Georgia got a picture frame and picture of her, Jude, Tommy, Kwest, and EJ at the party for Jude's first album going platinum, Damien received a Subway gift card, and Tommy… Well, she had something special for him.

Jude showered and took her time getting ready. She dried her hair and slipped into some sweats and a T-shirt. The party wasn't for another couple of hours, and everyone was going out to dinner afterward.

She had chance to go over some of her lyrics to the new song she wrote for the video. Jude could just imagine it, she even managed to draw a little series of frames the laid the video out.

After eating a small snack around three-o-clock, Jude slipped into her dress, brushed her teeth, and fixed her aesthetics. She was ready to go by three thirty and arrived at G Major at four. Everyone was there except for Liam, Georgia, Joanne, and Tommy. Jude looked around the lobby, which had a Christmas tree smack-dab in the middle, and found Kwest and Damien lounging on a couch and chatting.

"Hey, guys." Jude sat in between them and smiled pleasantly.

"Misses Claus or lady in red?" Kwest asked playfully.

She smacked him. "Jude Harrison, actually."

Kwest's eyes went wide and he gasped. "No way." He put a hand over his mouth in a silent scream. "Oh my god! Can I, like, have your autograph?"

Damien laughed and Jude punched them both in the arm with a roll of her eyes.

Somebody approached the trio and cast a shadow over Jude's good mood. Tommy stood in front of them with a pleading look on his face.

"Hey." He said with a small smile.

Kwest nodded and Jude completely ignored him. Damien was the only to return a 'hey' back.

Everybody fell in awkward silence and Tommy didn't budge an inch.

_Doesn't he get the hint, he's unwanted! _"Where's your fiancé?" Jude asked innocently.

"Talking to EJ." Tommy replied calmly, but Jude saw him flinch when she called Joanne his 'fiancé.'

"Better go find her." Jude said with a wave of her hand.

"Or I could talk to my friends." Tommy furrowed his brow in frustration.

"What friends?" Getting riled up, Jude stood. "Last time I checked you decided that you cared more about yourself than other people."

"Jude, don't-" Tommy started but she interrupted.

"Don't what? Tell the truth? Sorry, but _I_ don't lie to people, even if I don't care about them." Jude pushed past him and knocked into his side to make him stumble.

Tommy sighed and plopped onto the couch where Jude had previously been.

"I'm sorry, man." He said to Kwest.

"For what?"

"For exploding at you, expecting you guys to forgive me, involving you in this fiasco." He sighed exasperatedly. "Pick one."

"How about 'I'm sorry for being a major ass to my friends and being a hypocrite and breaking Jude's heart over and over again'?" Kwest looked angry for a moment.

"Yeah," Tommy smiled in a defeated way, "that too."

Kwest suddenly broke into a grin and held out his hand. Tommy chuckled and they preformed a complicated little handshake, pounding it at the end.

Damien just watched with some confusion. All he knew was what Tommy and Jude were fighting about, not what Tommy and Kwest were fighting about.

"So check this out." Tommy pulled out a little box from his pocket and handed it to Kwest.

Damien looked over and raised his brows.

"And this is for?" Kwest asked holding up the gift.

"Not my _fiancé_." Tommy said with a sad smirk.

Kwest smirked in return. "What are you going to say to her, then?"

"I don't know." Tommy sighed.

"Figure it out, man, before it blows up in your face or you lose your nerve."

But Tommy was already losing it. Joanne never did anything wrong, she just wasn't the one. "Yeah and then I'll have to hope_ she_ won't go 'you think you can just come back after two years and I'll jump into your arms, but you're wrong' on me."

"Oh she will." Kwest said with a laugh, but he quickly stifled it when Tommy shot him a serious glare.

Damien eventually grew tired of being completely lost. He got up and looked around for a familiar face. Soon he saw her looking crestfallen and walking into Studio B. This was the studio he was working in currently, and he knew it had a lock on the inside. He just hoped that the person he was looking for hadn't locked herself in.

Slowly he walked over to the studio door and knocked on it; it was always more courteous than just walking in, whether there was a lock or not.

"I don't want to talk to you, Tommy." Someone called from inside.

"Ah, not Tommy." Damien said with a smile. "I wouldn't be caught dead in a white jumpsuit."

After a few minutes a sheepish-looking blonde opened up the studio door and let Damien in. He waited for her to shut the door and settle on the floor with him.

"He's just such a jackass!" Jude screamed before Damien could even say a word. "He comes back and acts like he never even left. Then when he tells me he has this girlfriend I get aggravated, but I forgive and forget. So we get friendly again and I try and help him, and he says, point-blank, that he does not want to marry her! And what does he do? He proposes to her that same night! I am so sick of him giving me hope and ripping it away. Over and over and over again and I can't take it!" Jude collapsed into her own lap and shook violently.

Damien was taken aback by her outburst. He was just going to come in and ask if she was all right, ask about a few things with Kwest and Tommy, and then just talk if she wanted. If not, he was all set to leave. He gently rubbed her back and let her vent. After almost a half an hour the shaking subsided and then stopped. He gently pulled Jude back up to face him.

She looked at him wearily with tear-stained cheeks and great glossy eyes. It hurt Damien to see someone who had been so kind to him, that never deserved this, to be in such pain.

"If he can't see that having you is better than having anything else, then he shouldn't have any part of you at all." He softly told her. "Not even your hope."

Jude smiled and tried to wipe her tears away. On her hand she noticed that her makeup was running.

"I look like a mess, don't I?" Jude questioned him with a sniffle.

Damien wiped a few loose tears away. "The most beautiful mess I've ever seen." He tried to conceal a tugging blush at his cheeks; he was usually so shy.

Jude laughed and looked straight into his eyes. _He's always been here for me lately and I never really thought of giving him a chance, but he's so sweet and shy and it's cute, in a very odd sort of way_. "Thank you." She murmured.

Damien nodded without looking away from Jude's sapphire eyes for a single second. He wondered why she felt so strongly for Tommy, who obviously did nothing but hurt her.

Jude's smile faded and she realized just how close they were. Her hand was in his and her other had been resting on his leg. Damien's free hand traveled to the side of her face. She felt a tingle zip through her skin like lightning on a stormy night. His face was so close to hers that she couldn't even fight the impulse if she wanted to.

Their lips met only for a few seconds, but it was a kiss so tender that Jude leaned in for a bit more

Damien broke away and saw a stray droplet fall down Jude's cheek.

"That one was for the bit of hope I just gave to you." She whispered. They were about to fall back into another caress, but the door opened. Damien didn't jump away like Tommy would have. He sat there and carefully placed an arm around Jude's waist. He didn't want her to feel like she shouldn't be there with him.

Jude felt a rush of relief come over her. She thought that one of the worst people would be standing in the doorway: Tommy, Darius, or Georgia. Any of those people would have had a cow. Darius and Georgia would have freaked because of the problems the relationship would cause it recording. Jude and Damien obviously wouldn't be able to work alone. Tommy, on the other hand, would have turned into the incredible hulk and pounced on Damien like he tried to pounce on Kwest. But Damien didn't matter to Tommy, and Jude was sure that Tommy would have knocked him out in a split second.

"Er, Georgia wants to start the gift exchange." A very uncomfortable Kwest was standing in front of the two, who were still in their close embrace.

Jude nodded and Damien stood up. He held out a hand to help her up. She took it with a smile and pecked his cheek. "Thanks."

Jude stopped in front of the mirror and took the time to wipe her makeup clean. Now the only way you could tell she had been crying was the red tint to her eyes that made her blue iris pop.

"I left my presents in Georgia's office." She whispered to Damien. He smiled and headed off with Kwest, who predictably started asking questions about what was going on in there.

Kwest could tell something had happened, but all Damien said was 'I was comforting her.' He had to warn Tommy before he made a huge mistake.

Jude walked up to Georgia's office, next to Darius's and across from Tommy's. She picked up the garbage bag that had all the gifts inside. Jude started to head back to the lobby, but a noisy raucous coming from Tommy's office distracted her.

"So you're telling me you made a _mistake_? That this was a MISTAKE!" A high-pitched female voice was screaming.

"I made a mistake leaving! I made an even bigger mistake by _coming back!_ But I did and now I can't do anything else about it!"

Jude peered around the cracked door and saw frazzled Joanne and a Tommy whose face looked like a tomato. She had never heard Tommy yelling before and it scared her.

"I can't believe you even gave me this piece of junk!" There was a pause and Jude saw Joanne taking off her ring and chucking it at Tommy. He moaned and it the floor with a soft '_tink!'_

"I didn't even give it to you because I wanted to! You knew you were pressuring me into it; if I didn't you were just going to break up with me anyways." Tommy sounded so harsh. He seemed to calm slightly, but he was still yelling

"I didn't know you were in love with that _little girl_!"

Jude gasped. _Little girl?_

"She's 18, Jo, almost 19! For gods sake, I can't help who I fall in love with!"

Then it hit Jude; Tommy broke off the marraige with Joanne and admitted that he loved Jude, even though he never admitted it to Jude herself. Jude was stuck in place and couldn't move if she tried. It was too shocking.

"You _said_ you were in love with me, how could you just go on _pretending_? How could you propose to me?" Joanne's voice was growing sorough that Jude barely recognized it.

"Because I was scared that I would never have a chance with Jude again- She didn't even want me to come back!" Tommy slumped against the wall.

"So now I'm just a cover up!" Joanne's hands flew wildly in the air.

"No, you're my producer too." Which was obviously not the answer Joanne was looking for.

"No, I'm not your producer anymore!" She spat.

Tommy was shaking his head with narrowed eyes. "I thought you were professional. You can't let this get in the way of my album!"

"All along I thought _I_ was your inspiration. But it was _her_ the whole time!"

"You inspired me some." He sadly admitted. "That's not the point! You can't just quit on me."

"Oh yeah?" Her voice went from shrillto menacingly husky in a matter of second. "Watch me." She tried to leave but Tommy grabbed her arm. "God dammit, Tommy, just leave me the fuck alone!"

Joanne stormed towards the door, free if Tommy's grasp, but Jude was too paralyzed to move.

When the door swung open it hit Jude straight in the face. She heard a crunching sound and a warm fluid flowed down her face, over her chest, and into her dress. Curling onto the floor, Jude's sight of the ceiling faded to black.


	14. Chapter 14

**a/n:** Ok, wow. I seriously am impressed. 10 reveiws? You guys are freaking _amazing!_

I was gonna update twice yesterday but I went out with some friends pretty much all day and night, so I'll try and update twice today.

* * *

Jude woke up in a very different place than where she had passed out. Looking around she saw she was in a very cramped hospital room with a sink, a small TV, multiple chairs (which were filled with people), a small window, and a door to the hospital hallway. She surveyed the residents of the chair, all of which were asleep, and saw her mom, Georgia, Sadie, and Tommy. She looked around saw on the clock that it was two. From the fact that she could see the moon in her window and everyone in the room was sleeping, she figured it was two in the morning.

Suddenly, as Jude tried to sit up, a pain like no other shot through her skull and sent her into a frenzy. She moaned and fell back into the bed shaking in torment.

Sadie and her mom didn't budge; they were dead sleepers like Jude. Georgia stirred slightly, but it was only Tommy who awoke. He kneeled down next to the bed and took Jude's hand.

"Shhh." He looked at her concerned. Tommy glanced around and saw the clock. He smiled sadly. "Merry Christmas, Harrison."

_It's Christmas and I'm in a hospital with Tommy. I should be mad at Tommy. After all he put me through and he thinks he can be nice to me. But then again, he broke up with his fiancé just so he would have a chance with me. Then I got hit when I was listening in on his and Joanne's fight and when Joanne opened the door…_ "A door did this to me?" Jude pointed at her head.

"Yeah, and a ring did this to me." Tommy brushed back a bit of his abnormally messy hair to reveal a large white bandage that stretched from his temple to the middle of his forehead. "Never underestimate the strength of a little Italian woman when angered."

Jude laughed and immediately regretted it when a surge went through her entire upper half. "So what exactly is my damage?"

"They told us you broke your nose, split your skull a little, and got a concussion. You woke up when they were stitching you up and gave you some sedatives, hence the 2 am wake up call."

She almost nodded, then remembered how much it would hurt, and decided against it. "Where's Damien?" She asked casually.

Tommy grew curious. First Damien insisting he stayed, then Jude asking him where he was; he wanted to know what was going on between those two. "Georgia made him go home, she needs him recording tomorrow."

Jude's eyes wondered over to Georgia. "Why didn't she go home too?"

"Believe or not Jude," He smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "Everyone at G Major really cares about you."

She smiled and flushed a little.

"You should go back to sleep."

Jude laughed painfully. "I've been 'sleeping' for nine hours. I'm pretty wide awake."

"They can always bring in more sedatives." Tommy smiled mischievously.

"And leave you alone with my unconscious body? I don't think so, Quincy." Jude smiled, but that hurt some too. "God, don't they give out painkillers around here?"

Tommy chuckled and stood up. "Let me go ask somebody." He walked out of the room and left Jude in silence.

_Why is he being so sweet? I can't fall for him; I have Damien now. He's amazing and I don't need Tommy. I don't need his perfect hair, chiseled abs, dreamy smile, deep blue eyes, and… and… what am I thinking? I can't think about Tommy!_ Jude sighed and clutched her head.

"That bad, eh?" Tommy returned with a nurse trailing.

Jude just smiled self-consciously. _He can't hear my thoughts, thank god!_

The nurse walked over to the IV stand and injected some translucent fluid into it. Jude felt her veins run cold for a moment and then it subsided.

"Just press that red button if you need anything else." The nurse said pleasantly before exiting the room and shutting the door.

Tommy sat on the edge of Jude's bed and studied her face. He looked as though he was trying to extricate some sort of information that was buried deep into her mind's graveyard.

"What?" She asked him in a whisper.

"What do you have with him?" Tommy asked in an equally quiet voice.

Jude knew immediately he was talking about Damien. "I don't know." She murmured. "Something."

Tommy was getting closer and closer to Jude and all she wanted to do was back away. She wasn't going mess up what she had with Damien just because Tommy was on a peak of another one of his cycles.

"So you heard everything?" He asked even though he knew the answer.

"Pretty much." Jude was seriously uncomfortable now. Tommy was too close and had that look in his eyes that Jude knew oh so well from her sixteenth and seventeenth birthday parties.

"I meant everything I said. No more lies, Jude."

Jude felt his shallow breaths and tingle sailed down her spine. "Tommy, I can't." She breathed.

He backed away with a look of disappointment plastered all over his face. After a moment of gaze exchanges Tommy scratched his head and sighed. "Go back to sleep, girl."

She frowned and closed her eyes reluctantly. To Jude's surprise, she was asleep but five minutes later.

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

Jude bolted up in a cold sweat. Her nerves cried out in pain and she let out a low moan.

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

She looked beside her and realized she was no longer in her hospital room, but in her own apartment. On her bedside table the clock read seven-o-clock.

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

Jude rubbed her head and felt the stitches around her temple and the large bandage plastered over her nose. She rose and walked towards the door.

Behind the door revealed a smiling Tommy with Kwest at his side and Sadie behind him.

"What day is it?" She asked quietly.

The three entered. Sadie and Kwest settled on Jude's green velvet couch and Tommy stood beside her.

"Christmas." He smiled at her warmly.

"But I was just at the hospital 5 hours ago…" Jude looked at Tommy in confusion, then at Kwest, then at Sadie.

"No, you were at the hospital 17 hours ago. Around noon you were still passed out but doctors said we could wake you up and take you home if we wanted to. So me and Tommy and mom tried to wake you up for about an hour but you wouldn't. Georgia left and told us to call when you woke up. We got impatient and uncomfortable, and since the doctors said you would be find, we just let you sleep here." Sadie told her the story as if she was a librarian reading to kindergarteners.

"I've been out for 17 hours?" Jude asked her disbelievingly.

"Told ya you needed more sleep." Tommy placed a hand on her shoulder and chuckled jokingly.

Jude punched him weakly and collapsed onto her loveseat. "I'm beat." She sighed.

Tommy settled beside her. "Same." He stretched out and yawned.

"The doctors said you could take that," Kwest pointed to Jude's covered nose, "off when you're awake."

Jude nodded and carefully removed it, setting it aside on the coffee table beside her. "Don't you guys have anything better to do on Christmas?" She asked them with a questioning stare.

The three threw glances around to one-another and shrugged.

"Nope." Kwest grinned and everybody laughed.

"I'm tired of all the college parties, anyways." Sadie said. Jude surveyed her sister and realized she hadn't actually seen her sister in almost a year. Sadie looked the same, but she had bags under her eyes and her makeup was unusually casual.

The group fell into friendly conversation and laughter. Jude pulled her sister aside to ask her how college life was going. She learned that Sadie was single and not exactly looking. Jude felt horribly when she realized she hadn't bought Sadie anything for Christmas, but Sadie hadn't bought Jude anything either; she was broke from all her college expenses.

After hours of chit chat Sadie said she needed to get going to work on an essay. Since Kwest was her ride, he had to leave too. They bid their goodbyes and Merry Christmas's and Jude was left with Tommy alone.

"Why didn't you ride with them?" Jude asked him as she heard Kwest and Sadie pull away.

"Because I have... ah… something I needed to bring in my trunk." A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "I'll be right back."

Jude stared incredulously at Tommy's retreated back. Within a few minutes he was back and carried a guitar case with him.

"For your Christmas present, I give you something you'll never let me live down." Tommy unbuckled the case to reveal a guitar and a suspicious looking bandana.

Jude slowly began to smile. _What is that nutcase doing?_ She asked herself.

Tommy tied the bandana around his head in that old style that he used to have during his boybander days. He turned down the lights and picked up the guitar. With clever movement he scooted everything in Jude's living room away so that it was just Jude in the loveseat and Tommy standing in front of her.

"I give you," He grinned and began to play a familiar tune, "Boyz Attack."

As soon as Jude heard it she started to crack up. Thankfully she had taken painkillers while Sadie and Kwest were still there.

Tommy began to dance around with the guitar in his hands. He did all the signature Boyz Attack moves and played the same time, which was rather impressive.

Jude was seized by laughter and Tommy hadn't even begun to sing yet.

"_I was adrift  
On an ocean all alone  
You came and rescued me  
When I was far from home"_

Tears streamed down Jude's face. She hadn't laughed this hard since… well, since she could even remember.

_"A rush of love around my heart  
Just as I fell apart _

Nobody ever cared as much for me  
Nobody's touched my heart and healed my pain  
You've picked up the pieces  
And put me back together again"

Jude could even tell that Tommy was enjoying himself. It was incredible and she could not stop cracking up.

_"Careful, we're fragile  
And easily we break  
In your arms I'm certain  
Is all the love we'll make _

A rush of love around my heart  
Just as you take my hand"

Jude's laughing was not hysterical anymore, but she still couldn't stifle it. Tommy then dropped the guitar and pulled Jude up with him. He was humming the tune now and Jude joined in. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into the routine.

"_Nobody ever cared as much for me  
Nobody's touched my heart and healed my pain  
You've picked up the pieces  
And put me back together _

I'll write your name in stars across the sky  
We'll drift away into each other's eyes  
Yeah"

Jude was pressed up against him and singing along now. Tommy sang straight into her, almost whispering because her face was only inches away.

_"Nobody ever cared as much for me  
Nobody's touched my heart and healed my pain" _

Tommy smiled down on Jude and held her closer as their singing came to an end.

_  
"You've picked up the pieces"_

Their bodies were warm against each other. A trickle of urges went through both their minds.

_  
"And put me back together again"_

Before Jude could realize what was happening, pull away, or say no, she found her lips meeting Tommy's without recognition as to who started the kiss and who was kissing the other back. Jude's arms slithered up around his neck and pulled herself deeper. Tommy let his doubts go to hell. His passion fired his gasping mouth to pull at Jude's lips and bring them onto the couch entwined.

After minutes Jude had to break free. She couldn't breath and she had completely lost all train of thought. Not to mention she bumped her nose a few times, which caused her excruciating pain despite the painkillers.

"Tommy!" She shouted and shot off the couch.

He looked confused and slowly sat up to look at her.

"I can't do this, you know I can't. Not now." Jude started tearing at her hair in frustration.

Tommy sat speechless. He felt indescribable; kind of like a kid whose parents forgot to pick him up from soccer practice, so he had to take a three-hour walk home in the rain.

"Just…" Jude looked at him with despair. "Just leave, Tommy."

He returned her despairing gaze and didn't budge. After a few minutes Tommy stood up and put his guitar back into its case. He tossed the bandana back and Jude and she caught it with one hand.

Tommy stopped in the doorframe and spoke one last time. "Merry Christmas, Jude." And he was gone.

Jude locked her door and listened to Tommy's Viper start up and speed away. Jude replaced the bandage on her nose, crawled up to her bedroom, and slumped into bed. "Merry Christmas…" She murmured before falling into a fitful slumber.


	15. Chapter 15

**a/n:** So I just realized that this is almost coming to an end :o

The song in this chapter is an edited version of Teena Marie's _Lead Me On_.

I guess that the content in this chapter is a little more mature and the content in the next chapter will be too. I'm not going to change the rating up to M, but just be fairly warned.

* * *

Jude, Darius, and Tommy sat in a spacious office filled with computers that had 24-inch screens. The three sat listening to Jude's freshly recorded song. It had been three weeks since the Christmas incident; Jude wasn't allowed to return to the studio for two weeks afterward and it took another week to finish recording. Tommy had convinced to cut out all the backup vocals and use only one extra voice. Jude, of course, chose Damien. The song sounded amazing, and Jude couldn't be more pleased.

When the song finished Darius turned to face her without any notion of emotion. He had been known for his poker face and Jude hated it. "I like it."

Jude grinned while Tommy patted her on the shoulder. She shot him a glare and he immediately removed his hand. Jude acted likethe kissnever happened to give Tommy a taste of his own medicine. He tried talking to her once, but she just ignored him. Things were getting back to something somewhat normal with them. Well, as normal as things between Tommy and Jude could be. Jude was still leery upon contact with Tommy and Tommy still pulled out the jealous boyfriend act whenever Jude was with Damien.

"So we're doing the video on it?" Jude asked sheepishly.

"Yes, I'll have Ben work on some frames to go over before you leave today." Darius burned the song onto the computer as he spoke. "We'll hire a male actor to star in the video with you."

"Uh, actually," Tommy gave Jude a sharp warning look, but she continued to speak anyways, "Damien did backup in the song, so I think he should be in the video too."

Darius raised his eyebrows and began to mumble to himself. "Kyle would be pleased…" He turned. "We'll see."

Jude nodded and left the room; she didn't feel like fighting today.

"Jude, you're not seriously going to do the video with him, are you?" Tommy sped up to walk next to her.

"What if I am?" Jude tried to shake him off by stepping outside G Major for some air.

But he followed her. "I just think it's a mistake."

She scoffed. _You would know about mistakes, wouldn't you?_ "Why's that?"

"Because you're letting your personal relationship affect into your job." Tommy leaned against the wall of the building.

"Damien is singing in the song, he deserves to be in the video." She was getting aggravated. "It has nothing to do with the fact that we're dating."

Tommy winced. "He's only got a backup part and you'd be better off being unattached in the video. I've heard the lyrics, I know what Darius is going to make you do."

"Darius can't _make_ me do anything," Jude knew this was a lie, "If I don't like what he's doing to my song then I won't do it."

Tommy shook his head and fumbled through his pocket for something. He still had that little box that was supposed to be Jude's real Christmas gift.

"Still smoking?" She asked.

"No," Tommy pulled out a piece of gum, "The safer alternative."

Jude nodded and slumped against the wall. After minutes of silence she decided to break it with mindless pestering. "You know, I recorded the Boyz Attack preformance you gave me." A sly grin formed on her face.

"Oh, really?" Tommy looked at her menacingly. This was the perfect opportunity to talk to her about the kiss. "Then I guess you'll have our little- ow!"

Jude had stomped hard on Tommy's footbecause someone had just walked out of G Major and approached them.

"Hey," Damien took Jude's hand and kissedit softly.

She blushed. "Hey."

Tommy's eyebrows rose through his cringe of pain. He suddenly realized why she had crushed his toes like that; Jude hadn't told Damien about what happened.

"You know what, meet me in the studio, Jude." Tommy walked away with a smile playing on his lips.

"So how did the meeting with The Great D go?" Damien obviously couldn't tell something was up because he was all smiles.

"Good, he's considering letting you be in it with me." Jude watched Tommy leave and forced a smile to try and satisfy Damien.

"That's cool." He brought Jude into a surprising hug. She suddenly forgot about Tommy and lost herself in his embrace.

Damien leaned down and gentlykissed her. Jude really loved how sweet he was. He even tasted sweet. They stood caressing for minutes.

"Jude, we need you to start working with Tommy on the final mixing of _Lead Me On_." Georgia poked her head outside and interrupted the moment.

"Alright, G." Jude reached up and kissed Damien one more time before heading back into the studio.

Tommy was tapping his pencil impatiently. He didn't know any way to talk to Jude but be blunt.

Jude entered theroom with a sigh. She sat next to Tommy and reached for the spare set of headphones but Tommy's hand stopped her.

"You never told him, did you?" He was forcing a smug smile off his face.

_Great, how am I supposed to get anything done with him bothering me about that? Oh yeah, it never happened._ "Never told who what?"

"Don't play stupid, Jude." Tommy looked at her seriously.

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about, Tommy." She gave him an equally serious stare.

He sighed and rubbed his now healed temple. "Fine, you know what? If you're going to act like that then I won't bother."

Jude shrugged and lounged back in her seat. She had no problem with that. "So what are we going to change about the song _now_, your highness?"

"I don't think Damien's voice fits into the song."

Jude's jaw dropped, not in surprise, oh no, but at how ridiculous Tommy was being. "You've got to be kidding me."

"No, when you guyswere outside Dariusand I talkedabout it."

"So?" Jude was furious.

"So he rather have a more experienced artist sing backup and star in the video."

"Like who?"

"Like," Tommy prepared himself for her reaction, "me."

"_What?_" Jude gaped at him, thrust herself out of the seat, and stormed out of the studio. "Darius!" She burst into his office in a matter of seconds.

"I'm on the phone." He growled in a low, threatening voice.

Jude crossed her arms and glared at him until his call was finished five minutes later.

"Yes?" He asked with furrowed brows.

"I am not doing a video with Tom Quincy."

"You are." Darius began to play around with things on his desk like the matter was unimportant and already settled.

"No, I won't have it!" She stomped her foot. _Real mature, Jude._

"Tom needs this as a kick off for his new album, which is almost finished. After this song he will only need one more track. And because of his lack of producer," Darius grew aggravated as he said this last sentence, "it is necessary."

"I can't work with Tommy, he's too much of a distraction." Jude knew she had no fight on this. It was almost pointless to come here in the first place.

"Then instead of working and having Tommy as a distraction, work with Tommy so he can work with you. Go. The video shooting starts tomorrow."

Jude huffed and stalked back to Studio A.

"So?" Tommy could tell by her stoic demeanor that Darius had not obliged to her request.

"So we better get recording." Jude pushed through the sound booth door and sat on her stool.

"Let me go grab Kwest." Tommy was gone and back in five minutes with an amused looking Kwest following him.

"So erase the vocals and start over?" Kwest sat in the engineer's chair.

Tommy nodded and sat next to Jude. "Hey," He nudged her, "if it makes you feel better, Darius yelled at me for a good three hours for making Joanne quit."

Jude smiled a little but she quickly brushed it away. _No, just because he lost a producer, a fiancé, and got in trouble for it, doesn't mean he's not being an ass._

Kwest gave the thumbs up through the window.

"Do you even know what you're singing?" She questioned.

"I produced the first track, didn't I?" Tommy shook his head and grew silent as the music began to play.

"Doesn't mean you know it." She murmured. Jude began to sing seconds later, _"Turn around to see you  
In a crowded place  
I watch for the emotions  
On a guarded face  
Saying lead me on _

Victim of a dream  
And a memory  
But when I try to break free  
You say to me  
C'mon, lead me on."

Tommy fell into the song as a harsh guitar part, presumably played by Spiederman, began. He sang his lyrics like it was his own song, _"A matter out of time  
In the reaches of space  
Caught up in the patterns  
In the lie of a life  
Walk across the bridge  
To the shadows of the night."_

They both sang, _"Saying lead me on  
Lead me on  
Lead me on  
On and on."_

Tommy silenced once more and Jude's magnificent voice filled the studio, _"Voices in the night  
Chase my hopes away  
Looking in the mirror  
It's easy to say  
C'mon, lead me on _

The regrets of a lifetime  
In the dreams of a day  
When the coast is gettin' clearer  
I hear you say  
Lead me on."

Tommy chimed in perfectly, _"A matter out of time  
In the look on your face  
Caught up in the partners  
In the lie of a life  
Run across the bridge  
To the bedrooms of the night."_

They began to sing together and even Jude couldn't deny how their voices harmonized perfectly,_ "Saying lead me on  
Lead me on  
Lead me on  
On and on."_

The singing conversation began with Tommy's starting line, _"Talk to me of lightning." _

Jude looked over at him for the first time during the song. He had his eyes closed and she couldn't help but smile._ "I won't hear what you say." _

_"Reaching for the meaning all of the way."_

_"I can't keep believing in you and me." _She cringed. No matter how much she denied it, this song was about her and Tommy, and it was right that they sang it together.

_"Not finding the answers that we need."_

_"Sometimes it's not meant to be." _Jude was caught off guard when Tommy's eyes opened at her line. She watched pain broil beneath his eyes and a rush of her own regret filled her mind.

"_Turn around to see you  
In a crowded place  
I watch for the emotions  
As they cross your face  
Saying lead me on _

_I see you in a dream  
And a memory  
A captive of the lie  
You say to me  
Lead me on."_ It was Jude's last two stanzas, but Tommy felt like he was a part of the song throughout the last syllable.

The music stopped and Kwest turned on the intercom. "Great, guys. Lets take it again; you were talking at the beginning."

Jude groaned. It was about an hour later before they were done. Tommy and Jude rushed into Darius's office to give him the new version of the song for the next day when theshooting began.

In hissmooth leather chair, Darius propped his feet on his desk and beckoned them to come around to where he sat. "It's been a long day. Let's listen to this on my computer and then go over what our designers came up with for the video so you can get the vibe for tomorrow."

Once the song was finished they all agreed that it was a much better copy.

"I want to see this kind of chemistry in the video." Darius waved the CD in its case at the two. "It's great- perfect for your publicity, Tom."

Tommy nodded with an anxious look on his face.

"Ah, right, the video." Darius went into a folder and extracted a power point that had a series of pictures on it. He slowly explained each scene that illustrated his words.

"First, off everybody in this video will be in black and white but you guys. You'll start in a crowd. Tommy will be wondering and Jude will be looking at him and singing. Then the crowd will slowly cloud up and Jude will sit up in bed, sweating, clearly having some sort of nightmare. Next to her will be her husband, a different man. She goes to the bathroom and washes her face and sees Tommy in the mirror, but when she turns around he's gone." Tommy and Jude exchanged looks. "Then you see both of you walking together into a hotel. You rent a room and Jude is obviously upset. Tommy coaxes her into bed with sweet talk, but Jude has to take off her wedding ring before she will comply." A smile was now playing on Darius's lips. "Jude comes home to her husband, who thinks she is at work. He notices her smudged lipstick and starts to question her, but Jude denies everything. They begin to fight and Jude leaves her home and sits out on the sidewalk. She sings until Tommy's last chorus, where she calls him and he picks her up. You drive off. Then it flashes to Jude walking to the house. She knocks and her husband answers. She begs for forgiveness and he does forgive her. On the last two choruses you will see Jude and Tommy going into a different hotel. Finally it flashes to Jude's husband sitting in his house and staring at the clock. The camera slowly moves over and past the wall and on the other side you two are in bed."

Jude's mouth was hanging open slightly. She now knew that when Darius had Shay grabbing her ass in the _Waste My Time_ video, it was absolutely nothing.

"Uh, D?" Tommy interrupted the awkward silence. "That's a little…"

"Intense?" Darius shut down the computer and gave Tommy a furtive look. "The media still thinks Jude is a little kid, it's time she grew up."

Tommy just shook his head and walked over to the door. "Come on, girl."

Jude followed in a trance. Once the two were out of Darius's office Jude finally spoke again. "I'm not a girl, Tommy."

"I know." He led the way to the kitchenette. He poured Jude a cup of coffee. "You don't have to put yourself out there like this in your songs. People like Darius are always going to exploit you."

Jude groaned. _What am I supposed to say? 'I didn't mean the song to be about having sex while I was married. I meant it to be about loving two guys at once.' Uh, no. Wait, what? Did I just say I loved Damien? I am in so much deeper than I though I was with this. What am I supposed to say to him, now? 'Sup, boyfriend? I'm gonna be pretending to have sex with Tommy in a video that will be shown on TV all over the world.' _

"Earth to Jude." Tommy was waving his emptied coffee cup in front of her.

"Sorry." She sighed and clasped her head with her hands. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."

Jude felt his arm wrap around her shoulders as he whispered into her ear, "I know." She leaned into his chest with his muscles pulsing against her side.

"Uh, Jude?"

She quickly pulled away at the sound of a certain someone's voice. "Hey."

Damien was standing awkwardly behind them. They both turned around and Jude immediately hugged Damien.

Tommy began to tap his fingers on the countertop and tried to intimidate him. It clearly worked,for Damien pulled away from Jude's embrace.

"You need a ride home?" He clasped onto her hand with his and smiled sweetly.

"Yeah, let's go." She didn't turn around to say goodbye to Tommy; itmight arise suspicion.

"So…" The two settled in Damien's car in awkward silence. "What's the deal with the video, now?"

"Darius changed his mind. He wants Tommy to be in it with me." Jude wasn't going to go into details of the video.

Damien just nodded and drove off from G Major. With the exception of the radio, the rest of the car ride was silent.

When they arrived at Jude's apartment Jude declined Damien's offer to walk her to the door. She leaned over and pecked him on the lips. Her goodbye was quick and she was off into her living quarters to right another song. Hopefully this time even Darius couldn't mistreat it.


	16. Chapter 16

**a/n: **TommyQLovr- I originally wanted the video to be about Tommy leading Jude on and then breaking her heart. That's what it sounded like when I first found _Lead Me On_. But then I started to change the lyrics and I went crazy and then I just thought up scenes as I was typing :P Not very organized, but hey, it works for the way I wanted the plot to go.

I wrote this chapter on a caffeine high while listening to techno electronica for two days straight, so hopefully its not crap. I'm sorry it was a slow update. This was my first case ofwriters block I guess.

* * *

The rays of sun woke Jude the next morning to hear a loud beeping. She turned over and shut off her alarm lazily. The clock face flashed red; it was almost ten and Jude was going to be late, no doubt about it.

She took her time getting ready and didn't head out the door until eleven. The roads were packed with traffic and it would be a long drive to the shooting location. Jude flipped open her phone to reveal three missed calls.

"Georgia…" Jude muttered as she started the engine to her poor excuse for a car. "EJ… and Tommy." She shrugged and tossed the phone onto the passenger's seat. Since she turned sixteen Jude had learned how to maintain some composure on the road. She had also managed to learn how to dance and drive at the same time. With her favorite radio station blasting, this is exactly what Jude was doing. She didn't want to think about the video at the moment and dancing was all she could do to let loose.

Jude arrived at a little downtown location about an hour later. It was a large gray building with no aesthetically pleasing features. There was a parking garage next to it in which Jude left her car. She entered the boring building calmly and looked around. People were going crazy running, walking, pacing, calling, painting, moving, and talking. There was never so much hustle and bustle in her previous videos.

"Jude!" She turned around and saw a very flustered looking Georgia pounce at her. "Where have you been? You were supposed to be rehearsing over an hour ago!"

Jude gave a slight smile. "Sorry, traffic."

Georgia shook her head and began pushing Jude through the crowd. "Go! Go in there and get instructions." She forced Jude into a room in the back of the building. It was small, cramped, and full of people. The only person she recognized in the room was Tommy.

Tommy smiled and Jude edged over to him. "What is this?" She asked.

He shrugged. "They're instructing everybody on their rolls in the video. Apparently a few people canceled and the video was so last minute that nobody knows what they're doing."

"Ms. Harrison, so nice of you to join us." A short, bulky man with bristly facial hair and a sour expression approached her. "I am Ron Beckingfeild, I run the choreography of the videos shot in this studio."

"We're dancing?" Jude asked incredulously.

Ron chuckled. "No, my dear, but you are not just throwing a video together however you want to. You will have to know where to go, where to stand, what to do, when to sing, and when to step out of the picture."

Tommy rolled his eyes and Jude frowned. She already didn't like this guy and she had just met him.

For another hour Ron instructed the room of people on exactly what they were supposed to look like, feel like, walk like, talk like, and act like. Jude was told her character was a seductress that always got what she wanted, even if she had plead. Tommy was just a guy that was in love with a girl who was already married. John, the guy who played Jude's husband, was too in love with Jude to not let her hurt him.

Jude had yet to eat and at noon they had to begin filming, no lunch breaks for anyone.

"It'll be alright, girl." Jude and Tommy stood on the edge of the first set. It was a sidewalk with a few poles and parking meters in front of a green screen. Jude nodded and he left to take his place in the crowd.

"Everybody take your places!" Somebody called. Jude settled against the first light pole. People all around scrambled and began walking back and forth as if it were a busy street in the city.

"Annnnd action!" The music began and Jude searched the crowd with her eyes. She spotted Tommy who gave her a reassuring look before playing his role as a lost guy in the crowd.

Jude began to mouth the words to her song. "_Turn around to see you  
In a crowded place  
I watch for the emotions  
On a guarded face  
Saying lead me on."_

"And cut! Room 23 people!" Jude bustled into wardrobe, got changed into something that looked like lingerie, and headed towards the new set. She and John were the only two people in this scene because they were going to edit Tommy's image into it later.

Jude settled into the bed with John already in it.

"Wow, in bed with Jude Harrison. Next to Tommy Q., I must be the luckiest guy in the world." He remarked.

Jude laughed quietly but quickly stiffened as the cameras began to turn on.

"And action!"

The music played and Jude sat straight up, clutching her head.

"_A matter out of time  
In the reaches of space."_

She got out of the bed and walked through a fake wall with a doorframe in it and into the bathroom set.

_"Caught up in the patterns  
In the lie of a life."_

Jude turned on the sink that actually ran water, splashed her face, and looked up. She jumped back and turned around.

_"Walk across the bridge  
To the shadows of the night."_

She stood there for a while and then turned back around to clutch the side of the sink.

"_Saying lead me on  
Lead me on  
Lead me on  
On and on."_

"Cut! The back room for the next shot!" Jude scuffled off to wardrobe again. Now she and Tommy were going to have tokiss. Not just in the shadows of a secluded place where no one would find out, but in front of cameras and people everywhere. Jude didn't know if she could hold back on her passion; sometimes Tommy's aura consumed her so quickly that she could not fight back.

They had dressed Jude in dark jeans and a suitjacket with a lacy tank top underneath. She couldn't stop fidgeting with it; it was so damn itchy. The back room was not like any room Jude had ever been in. It was almost as big as a stadium and the walls were all painted bright green. The cameras were set up throughout a fake motel that could have fooled anyone.

Suddenly Jude felt a warm hand grasp her shoulder. She jumped slightly and tensed up when she saw it was Tommy.

"Relax, it won't be as bad as you think." He cooed.

"I don't get why we have to do this." She muttered.

"Because," Tommy shifted in his overly preppy clothes, "It's this or our jobs."

"Right."

"Places, everybody!" The director called.

Jude and Tommy took their stance on the faux sidewalk.

"Action!"

Together they walked into the building as the music played.

"_Voices in the night  
Chase my hopes away."  
_

Tommy talked to the hotel worker for a brief moment before she handed him a hotel key. He placed a hand on the small of Jude's back and led her to a room.

"_Looking in the mirror  
It's easy to say  
C'mon, lead me on."_

"You ready?" He breathed.

Jude forced a slight smile. They entered the hotel room cautiously.

"_The regrets of a lifetime  
In the dreams of a day."_

Both sat on the floral-print bed. Jude folded her arms nervously. _What am I doing? I can't do this. I've gotta get out of here._

She attempted to stand up but Tommy wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Jude, we both have to suck it up. It'll be over before you know it."

"I can't do this, Tommy."

He slowly unraveled her arms and took her jacket off.

"C'mon, Jude. The sooner you get this over with the sooner we can get on with the rest of the video."

She looked down at her hands. Carefully Jude slid off the wedding ring and set it on the table beside the bed.

_"When the coast is gettin' clearer  
I hear you say  
Lead me on."_

Tommy smiled, but she could tell it was full of sadness. He wasn't sad that they were doing this; he was disappointed because she didn't want to be doing this.

Jude let Tommy lean her back onto the bed. She sucked in her breath as his warm body pressed her deeply into the spring mattress. Their lips grazed and Jude felt compelled to entangle her hands in his hair.

"And cut! Be back here in ten, people!"

The music stopped and Tommy pulled himself off of the bed. He offered his hand to Jude but she ignored it.

"Jude, don't be like this." She took off and he walked after her.

"I'm just uncomfortable, Tommy." Jude glanced back at him before walking into makeup.

Ten minutes later Jude was positioned for the fight scene. The motel had been miraculously transformed into a home, complete with yard and garden gnomes.

"Ready and action!"

Jude walked through the front door and greeted John with a peck on the cheek.

"_Saying lead me on."_

"How are we supposed to do this?" He asked with a smile.

"_Lead me on."_

"I don't know."

"_Lead me on."_

His brows furrowed and touched the side of Jude's mouth. "They actually had to take you into makeup for that?"

"_On and on."_

She tried hard to fight a smile but lost the battle.

"Cut! Cut! Cut!" The cameras went off and the music stopped playing. "You are not laughing at your husbands accusations, Jude! You are denying years of lying and deceit. Try and play the role, ok?"

It took almost six takes to get the mood right. Jude was nervous and couldn't concentrate, but eventually she made it all the way until where Tommy pulled up a trashy little convertible and picked her up. The forgiveness episode was almost as hard. Jude just didn't know what it was like to beg to be given a second chance. Well, not in such an extreme anyways. Besides the fact that the shots with John weren't easy,she didn't want to move on to the final part of the video.

For the last scene wardrobe had Jude in nothing but a tan wrap around her chest and some underwear; she was supposed to appear naked.

The set was now two rooms divided by a solid wall. One was the living room in which Jude had shot the fighting and forgiving pieces; the other was supposed to be a hotel room. She slid under the covers of the bed in the hotel room, trying to hide her clearly exposed body.

Tommy approached the bed only minutes later in nothing but boxers. "Nervous?" He asked.

Jude frowned. "Uncomfortable."

He took off the covers and lay down beside her. "It's going to be fine, Jude. This is the last of it."

She shrugged and ignored him until finally the director began to role cameras and the music started to play again.

"Action!"

Jude rolled over on top of Tommy and he pulled the covers over them so their clothes weren't revealed. She tensed at feeling of his skin against hers and closed her eyes.

"_I see you in a dream."_

"Jude." She was force to look at him. His face looked so downtrodden that Jude couldn't help but feel sorry for him. _Wait, he's not the one with a boyfriend. Or, er, girlfriend._

_"And a memory."_

She feltTommy's sigh on her neck and his hand pull her tight against his body. Jude tried not fall into the inevitable kiss, but their lips crashed like lightning.

_"A captive of the lie."_

Jude wrapped her hands around his neck and forgot about the cameras all around. "I can't hold back, Tommy." She whispered into his mouth.

_"You say to me."_

"So don't." He whispered back. Tommy's hands were all over her back, in her hair, around her waist. He wished it were real, but it wasn't. It was all for a video.

_"Lead me on."_

The music began to fade and came to stop.

"That's a wrap!"

Jude immediately stopped and was flashed back to reality. She pushed Tommy off of her and stalked back to wardrobe so she could go home.

"That was amazing, Jude." Somebody called to her before she could get out of the building.

"Thanks," Jude turned around and saw Georgia with a genuine smile on her face, "G."

"I expect you in the studio tomorrow."

Jude laughed. "Ten sharp." With that she bolted out of there, eager to get away. It was a long day, and she had an even longer day ahead of her the next morning.


	17. Chapter 17

**a/n: **So I just realized I skipped over Jude's birthday, which is December 17th. I always thought it was later than that, but oh well.

This one is a little short. I can't decide if I want to make the next chapter the last chapter or the chapter after that. But the ending is near.

I don't know if I want to do a sequel… Hmmm… opinions?

Anyways, here's chapter 17.

* * *

"_Oh, he's under my skin_

_Just give me something to get rid of him_

_I got a reason now to bury this alive_

_Another little white lie."_

Jude rolled over and grappled for her cell phone that sat on her bedside table.

"Hello?" She mumbled groggily.

"Rise and shine." She should have known from the ring tone that it was Tommy. "Darius is calling an early meeting to reveal your new video to everyone. Be here in fifteen."

There was a small click and Jude knew he had hung up. She threw her hair up into a ponytail and grabbed some jeans and a t-shirt. This morning Jude Harrison was definitely not in the mood to dress to impress.

She was late to the studio, as usual, and walked into the conference room. Everyone was already there.

"And finally our star graces us with her presence." Instead of Darius standing in front of the room, Liam was positioned stoically in his usual pressed suit.

Liam pulled down a projector and started the infocus so that everyone in the room could see the video without having to bob and duck.

Jude settled in the back of the room; she wasn't even sure if she wanted to see the music video at all. Somewhere in the room Damien was watching, andshe knewthe videowould be an unpleasant shock.

"And here we go." Liam started the file and everybody focused on it.

The video was masterful Jude had to admit. Every detail had been played out perfectly. She cringed at her and Tommy's two scenes and hoped that nobody noticed.

When the music video was over all the staff members congratulated her promptly and left to their own business. After the room was almost emptied Jude still hadn't spotted Damien.

"Wow, that was um."

Jude spun around and saw a bashful looking Damien hunched behind her. "C'mon, let's go somewhere else."

He nodded and followed Jude into the G Major parking lot. They sat on the curb of the sidewalk next to the street and didn't speak for a while.

"So did you know?" Damien asked first.

"Know what?" She asked innocently.

"That you were going to be, you know," He looked like he was fighting to find the right words, "having sex with him on live TV."

Jude was startled for a moment. "I-I wasn't r-really," She gasped for breath, "I was wearing clothes, it was all just for the video."

"But you knew?"

"Sort of." She felt guilt wring her conscience dry.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I only knew two days ago, I never really got the chance."

Damien nodded and stared into the street. A few cars passed and whirred their hair. "What exactly does he do for you?"

"What?" Jude was confused by Damien's bluntness. He was so much more different than her usual run-of-the-mill boyfriend.

"Why are you so attracted to him?"

"Well he is Little Tommy Q."

"No, I mean," Damien sighed, "Look, I'm not going to just leave you cold. I really care about you, Jude. But I don't want to be with you if you're really still with him."

Jude looked down at her feet. "I was never with him." _He's so right, but I need him. I need to have somebody to distract me; 'cause if I let Tommy in he'll just break me down again_.

"I'll still be your friend." He looked over at Jude for the first time. She could see this pained him.

"I don't want to just be your friend, though."

He pursed his lips and looked away. "I don't want to just be your rebound guy."

"You're not!" Jude was getting angry now, though not with Damien. She was angry with Tommy. _How can one guy single-handedly ruinmy entire love life with just the wink of an eye?_

"Then what am I? Because if I was something more, I thought you would have called me and said something. At least warned me about it, or reassured me that you didn't feel anything when you did it." Damien blurted. Frustration burned at his cheeks.

"You're my boyfriend! What was I supposed to do, huh? Call you up and be like 'Oh hey, I'm shooting a video and I'm going to be in bed with Tommy'? I was just confused!" Jude was standing up now, her arms flailing in the air.

"No, you were just supposed to be honest! Not telling the truth is the same as telling a lie. Just say if you have feelings for Tommy and stop keeping me in the dark." Damien stood up as well.

"Of course I do! But you mean so much more to me than that. Why can't you just believe that?" Jude was growing desperate. _He can't be breaking up with me, not now._

"Because I can see you two together! I'll always care about you, Jude, but I can see that you are feeling so much more towards him."

"You're right, I hate him more than I could ever feel anything else towards anyone else!" Her face tinged red.

Damien looked at her sadly. He reached out and put his hand on Jude's shoulder. She flinched. "I'll always be here for you."

"As a friend." She sighed.

He nodded. Jude grimaced and walked back into G Major. Damien followed her and went into the kitchenette for some coffee. As he poured himself a cup and shadow fell over his progress.

"What did you do to her?"

Damien turned around with a cup of java. Tommy stood before him in full intimidation mode: his shoulders tight, his jaw taught, his eyebrows furrowed, and his muscles pulsating.

"I didn't do anything. You should go ask Jude what's wrong."

"Look, kid." Tommy's raw voice thunked against the thick atmosphere. "What did you do?"

"_I_ didn't do anything. Just go talk to her yourself."

Tommy clicked his tongue and just walked away. He didn't have time to mess with this new punk. Jude had stormed past him in tears, and he wanted to know why.

"Jude?" He entered studio C with caution.

"What?" A voice called from the corner of the room. Jude was huddled with her head in her knees.

"What happened?" Tommy sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Tommy, get off of me!" She sat up and pushed him away.

Startled, he stood up and backed away. "What did I do now?"

"Everything!" Jude didn't stand up, he wasn't worth it. "You know, I thought that maybe for once I had a real relationship. Damien completely understood me, he never overreacted, and he never tried to deny his feeling for me! But then you come along and get into his skin. You had to act like you owned me, and you had to make me want to be friends with you again."

"Woah, Jude. I didn't do any-" Tommy tried to speak but Jude continued to ramble on.

"But he saw it. He saw that little bit of hope I still had for you, and he knew I would give up everything for you. If you would just stay away from me maybe I wouldn't care, but you've ruined everything, Tommy! I don't have a chance in any other relationship because of you!"

Tommy couldn't think of anything to say. "I…"

"Why don't you just leave me along, Tommy?" Jude stood up and tried to push pass him, but he held her back.

"God dammit, Tommy! Just get out of my life!" She shoved hard into the wall.

He let her walk away and slouched to the ground.

"What was that all about?" Kwest poked his head around the wall to see Tommy disheveled on the floor.

"I don't know." Tommy sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I came in to see if she was ok and she blamed me for ruining her love life."

"Well, you kind of did, man." Kwest shrugged and sat beside him.

"What?" Tommy gave him an incredulous look.

"Jude's fallen deep for you. After you left she didn't hook up with anybody for a long time cause she was waiting for you. Then when she heard you were coming back, she gave up on any other opportunities to see what happened with you. She even still had hope when you were about to be engaged to Joanne. And you just keep letting her fall for you."

He listened to Kwest and began to sink into guilt. "What am I supposed to do? I just want to be with her but everything and everyone else wants us to be apart."

Kwest stood up. "I can't tell you what to do. No matter how mad she is she's still in love with you, man."

"She told me to get out of her life." Tommy thumbed his pockets.

Kwest shrugged and walked out. He was tired of this Tommy and Jude cycle.


	18. Chapter 18

**a/n: **I lost track of weekday I was on for this fiction… So I'm making it up. If it's off, sorry much.

Ah. **One more chapter after this**. :) And I wrote all afternoon to get this up today, so I hope you guys really enjoy it.

* * *

The next couple of days were completely miserable. Georgia forced Jude to work with Tommy because there was a producer shortage since Joanne left. Jude hated Tommy, loathed Tommy, wanted noting to do with Tommy, and all she could think about _was_ Tommy. She thought about how indecisive he was and how many time she had believed that he would date her, only to have him dash it all away with one 'forget about it'. Jude also thought about how no matter how angry she was and how many times she claimed to despise him, she was still in love with the idiot.

EJ booked interview after interview about Jude's new controversial video. And because Tommy co-starred in it, she was forced to spend more time with him at interviews and photo shoots. Both pretended like they were best friends in front of the cameras, but Jude was dying inside. She wanted to explain to the press what an ass Tommy was and how she needed to just get over him.

I was after another full day of interviews and the _Lead Me On _team were settling back in G Major for about another hour before they could go home. Jude decided she was going to listen in on the mixing of Damien's new song until she could go home.

Tommy had no artists who needed to record and he was lounging in the kitchenette with Kwest, who was on a short break.

"You can tell she's faking it." Kwest said through a mouthful of peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"She smiles like she wants to punch me." Tommy commented. "Did you see her eyes pop when they suggested that we were a couple?"

Kwest nodded. "She nearly strangled the interviewer."

A throat loudly cleared itself and interrupted the boys' conversation.

"Tom, could I speak with you a second?" Darius drawled.

Tommy nodded and left Kwest to eat his food in peace. Darius led Tommy to his office and they sat down across from each other.

"I was just on the phone with Kyle." Darius folded his hands on the desktop.

Tommy stared at him blankly.

"You know Kyle, the owner of Cape Cove."

"Yeah, I know Kyle."Tommy knew he was being difficult, but the day's earlier events put him in a very frustrating mood.

"He loved your video and he offeredyou a deal."

Tommy raised his eyebrows. "What kind of deal?"

"He wants you back at Cape Cove." Darius paused for a moment and then continued. "He's offering you a two year contract for around three million. You're hitting it big and Kyle wants you completely under Cape Cove's label."

"I've only got one video out, D." Tommy leaned back and ran his fingers through his hair. "Three million?"

"Three. That's-"

"Over triple of what Frozen is going to get me in-between labels." He was so confused.

"You don't have to decide right now. The offer stands until Friday."

"That's in two days!" Tommy was reeling; so much was at offer and at stake.

"You'll either be flown up Friday or Saturday, depending on when you decide."

Tommywas disgruntled that Darius was assuming he would take the offer. Naturally, Darius was going to be paid even more than Tommy was for the exchange. "I just got back here a couple months ago." He frowned.

"Sleep on it, Tom."

Tommy nodded and left to find Kwest. Sure enough, Kwest was still in the kitchenette chewing away.

"What was that all about?" Kwest asked.

"I might be going back to the states." Tommy leaned against the counter and looked up at the ceiling.

"What!" Food sprayed out of Kwest's mouth.

"Three million." Tommy looked over at him. "Three million, man."

"Who wants you?"

"Cape Cove again. But this time they want my whole album and I don't think I'll be producing."

"Didn't you just finalize your apartment payments?"

"Yeah," He sighed, "But I came back here for certain reasons that don't really exist anymore."

Kwest thought for a moment with a blank face. He suddenly came to realize what Tommy was talking about. "She'll come around, you just got to wait."

"I don't know if she will this time. Maybe I really should give up."

The two stood in silence until Kwest had an idea. "Whether you leave or not, we're gonna go for some drinks." He smiled and looked at Tommy questioningly.

"I don't know, man…"

"C'mon. We'll go to a bar or something."

Tommy slowly smiled. "Yeah, let me just grab my jacket." He shot off towards his office.

Kwest finished up his food just as Tommy came back with his jacket and a cap.

"Ruining the hair?" Kwest joked.

"Hiding the identity." Tommy said simply.

"I hate to break it to you, but you can't exactly hide behind a baseball cap. You're just a tad bit bigger than that."

Tommy rolled his eyes and they both chuckled. "What about your artists?"

Kwest shrugged. "They'll do fine without me."

Twenty minutes later they were riled up and entered an exclusive party bar filled with dancing and drinking. It was high-tech andscreens that showed the videos to the music playing over the loudspeakers were hung on every wall. Everyone was carrying around martinis and tequilas and bopping along to whatever pop hit was currently playing.

In the first half an hour there, five girls approached Tommy and offered to have a drink with him. He politely declined each time and told them to head in Kwest's direction. The last one he turned downfound Kwest intriguing and they fled away to the dance floor.

Tommy couldn't stand the music choice. He tried to drown out the sounds by drinking, but it hadn't worked yet. He was a little tipsy and couldn't see straight by the time Kwest had finally convinced him to dance with one of his new female friends.

"Oh, I love this song!" The girl exclaimed as a new tune blasted.

It sounded familiar, too familiar. Tommy searched for the video screens and stared in horror. It was his new song with Jude.

"Oh, uh, I gotta uhm…" He couldn't think of an excuse. "I'll be right back."

The girl clutched onto his arms and brought him back. She was clearly drunk. "Come on, just one more song."

Tommy frowned as he heard his own voice serenading the crowd. "I really don't like this song."

"I think it's great." Kwest butted in. He wanted Tommy to have good time and maybe forget about how much Jude hated him for just a few hours.

"Yeah!" The girl fastened her other hand on Tommy's other wrist and pulled him into her. He had no choice but to move along until the song was over.

"Hey, man. Can we go now?" He asked Kwest.

"Er, hold on a second. Let's go over to the bar." Kwest and his girl walked away and the girl who had been dancing with Tommy dragged him along.

"I just love that video, don't you?" She asked Tommy.

"Er," They sat down and he grabbed a bottle of water. "Not really."

"But Tommy and Jude just look so good in bed together. Much better than her and Shay, his head was WAY too big."

Tommy spit out his water all over the countertop. He couldn't believe that she had just said such a sexual innuendo when he _was_ Tommy. But then again, she was obviously too drunk to recognize him at all.

"Well, let's go." Kwest appeared next to Tommy. He hugged his dancing partner goodbye; Tommy left his own partner without another word.

When they both were settled into Kwest's car, Kwest pulled out a piece of paper.

"Digits?" Tommy chuckled and they preformed their signature handshake.

"Did you get your girl's?"

"I didn't even ask her name." They both laughed. "It's not like I did anything but try and get away from her."

Kwest shrugged and drove off.

Tommy was in bed and sleeping an hour later. He dreamed all night about his day; he could move away and leave his issues behind or he could work them out and stay with Jude.

The next morning Tommy's alarm went off at seven. Surprisingly he had no hangover, but a small headache migrated through his head and into his neck. He took his time getting ready and sat down to watch TV before he left to work. It was not required to be at G Major until nine, and he didn't feel like getting there early this morning.

Tommy flicked through the channels and came to a stop on the music channel.

"I just can't forget you, can I?" He chucked the remote at the TV, which was playing _Lead Me On_ on the new hits countdown.

A napkin lay on the counter of his table. Tommy grabbed it and a pen and began to write furiously. After he was done scribbling down words in practically unreadable writing, he left to G Major.

Tommy's first stop at the studio was Darius's office. "Hey, D."

"T, have you made a decision?"

"Yeah." He stood in the doorframe of Darius's office. "I'll take the offer if I can record my last song for Frozen today."

Darius contemplated this a moment. He would have to bump off a few of his artist's and let Tommy have Studio A for the entire afternoon. Not to mention, he'd need to steal a producer and an engineer for it.

"Kwest can produce and mix it." Tommy chimed in as if he could read Darius's mind.

"Alright, I'll have the ticket for your flight and the paperwork faxed over tonight so you can leave tomorrow."

Tommy nodded and left the room. He needed to find Kwest and start recording as soon as possible.

"Tommy, I got a new song that I want to get into the studio."

He turned around and came face to face with Jude and Damien. "Uh, you know what? Take the day off."

"Really?" She quirked her brow.

"Really." Tommy turned and heard excited whispers.

"Mall?" Jude asked.

"Movie." Damien retorted.

"Movie!" Jude exclaimed. Their feet pattered as they ran away.

Tommy sighed. He missed being the one to run off with Jude. Once when she was seventeen, he and her just blew off two days of workto go on a road trip. They drove down to Niagara Falls and even spent a day in New York.

"Hey, watcha got there?"

Tommy jumped out of his thoughts and found himself sitting in Studio A with his napkin in hand.

"Uh, lyrics. I'm leaving tomorrow and I want to record this song. D said you could help me produce and mix all day. I need it done tonight."

"Woah. You better be doing this acoustic then." Kwest sat down and began to turn on the soundboard.

He thought about it for a bit and then nodded. "Yeah, I want it acoustic."

"Ok, then lets roll."

Tommy got his guitar and sat down on the stool in the sound booth. Kwest gave him a thumbs-up and Tommy started to play.

Eleven hours, three lattes, and two meal breaks later, the song was finished.

"So this is it?" Kwest asked as he handed Tommy the two copies of his song.

"Yeah, I'm picking up the tickets and the paperworktonightand leaving tomorrow."

Kwest nodded. Tommy could see the sad look in his eyes; he was Kwest's best friend and he was leaving again, this time permanently.

"I'll keep in touch." Tommy hugged Kwest and patted his back. The bear hug lasted a few minutes and they broke away.

"Seeya later, man."

Tommy nodded and walked out of the studio, "Seeya." He began to walk towards Darius's office but he stopped. This really was his last day at G Major. When he told Jude to take the day off it would be the last thing he ever said to her.

"Hey, Kwest!" Tommy jogged back into the studio. "Uh, hold on. You got a piece of paper?"

Kwestsearched around and handed one to Tommy once he found it.

"And a pen?"

Kwest rolled his eyes and got a pen from the pencil holder on the soundboard.

Tommy bent over and began to scribble words feverishly on the paper. After a minute or two he folded it up and put it under the cover of one of the CD cases that carried one of his CDs. Setting down the note and CD, Tommy rummaged through his pocket until he pulled out a little velvet box.

"Give this to Jude, ok?"

Kwest nodded and smiled, taking the things from Tommy.

Tommy waved and ran out again. He found Darius and got all his paperwork, signed it, and received his airplane ticket for LAX at one-thirty the next afternoon.


	19. Chapter 19

**a/n: This is the end. **I hope you guys enjoyed this.Over 100 reveiws, 9 favorites, 21 alerts,and almost 8,000 hits :) I'm impressed. The song in the chapter is called _Perfect Chemistry_ by Stil Hear. You'll never find it cause it was never released or sent in or anything, so don't look. It's truly amazing and if I manage to get it on the internet I'll put a link in my profile.

So do you think I should do a sequel?

* * *

Jude arrived at G Major in new clothes. She decided to go all out yesterday since she had a day off from the madness. Damien had got his hair styledbut he decided that a new wardrobe wasn't necessary.

She had her lyrics written down on a piece of paper in her pocket and was ready to record. Yesterday had perked up Jude's spirits enough that she might be able to stand Tommy. When Jude looked for her produver, all the studios were empty. Kwest was in the kitchenette, but she couldn't find Tommy.

"Hey." She approached Kwest and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Hey." He said with a nod.

"Do you know where Tommy is?" She asked him after taking a sip.

Kwest looked at her carefully. "He didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

He frowned. "Follow me." He walked over to Studio A and picked up some things off the soundboard. Jude stood with her arms crossed.

"Take this." Kwest shoved it at her and left the room quickly.

"What's eating him?" Jude asked herself as she sat down. There was two things: a CD case with a piece of paper stuffed in it and velvet box. She set aside the box and opened up the CD case. Jude almost threw the paper away but she saw some writing on it. There was a CD placed inside with the initials 'P.C.' written on it in red sharpie. She opened up the paper and read the note inside.

_Jude- _

_Since I've come back from California all I seem to do is make you miserable. I wanted to come back to have a chance with you, I really did. I could never forget you there and I never will. I hope you'll listen to this song and know it's about you. You told me you wanted me out of your life, so I'm trying. Yesterday was the last day you ever had to see me; I'm going back to where I came from. I hope you're just as happy without me as I am when I'm with you._

_-Tommy_

The paper fluttered out of Jude's hand and hit the ground in silence. Jude stooped over and crumpled to the floor.

"No, no. I didn't mean it!" She yelled. Even if Jude hated Tommy with all her heart, she couldn't live without him, not again.

Slowly she stood up, forgetting about the CD and the velvet box, and started to look for Kwest. When she found him in Studio C working with Damien the tears finally fell.

"Why did you let him leave again?" She screamed.

Kwest stared up at her. "I didn't let him leave, Jude. He did it because he thought that's what you wanted."

"No! I wanted to be mad at him and let him feel the pain of being shut out for once, but I didn't want him out forever." She was pacing now.

"Jude, just calm down."

Jude threw up her hands and retreated into G Major's lobby. She stalkedup to Darius's office and didn't knock or look to see if he was on the phone.Barging in, Judesmacked her hand on the desk to get his attention. "When is he leaving?"

Darius looked at her curiously. He paused to think about what Jude was saying."It's really not any of your business."

"Tell me when he's leaving!"She was trying hard not to spit all over his face.

"Oh, about one-thirty." He shrugged and went back to his computer work.

Jude flew out of the room and almost ran smack-dab into a cart of sandwiches being towed in for the kitchenette. She darted through the crowd and made her way back to Studio C where Damien and Kwest had dropped their work and were now conversing.

"What am I supposed to do?" Jude collapsed on the ground just inside the studio.

Damien crawled over to her and pulled her into a hug. "Go home, get some rest."

Kwest nodded. "Did you get your stuff?"

"Oh," Jude wiped her few tears away, "No. I'm going to go, though. Cover for me?"

They both nodded. Jude hugged each and went back to get her unopened velvet case and CD.

Kwest shook his head. "You know, I really thought she hated him for some time there."

"You can tell though," Damien pursed his lips, "She really needs him more than she was admitting. And now it's all coming back to her."

In her car Jude sat for a few minutes and just let herself sob. Halfway home she decided to put the disc into her CD player and listen to it.

The beginning was a slow and intricate acoustic part. It was raw and unworked, but she liked it. Suddenly the lyrics started and Jude knew it was Tommy. His voice was a little sulkier than usual.

"_So here I lie again_

_Gasping in every word_

_You're nearly everything_

_Nearly everything_

_Is it all right if I slide by?_

_You wonder why _

_There's so many goodbyes in me_

_But both we _

_Can't deny our perfect chemistry."_

Jude's waterworks flooded down her face and meshed her makeup intoa stream that nearly blinded her from the road ahead. She stopped and waited for the road to clear up. In a quick motion, Jude flipped her car around and began speeding towards the freeway. She wasn't going to give up this easily.

"_I only close my eyes at night_

_In hopes that you will still be there_

_Smiling, waiting on return_

_With that breathless gaze still in your stare_

_It really is a shame_

_You're unattainable_

_And the both of us know the truth about it_

_That you're just a,_

_A composition of every girl I've ever loved."_

Traffic was at a complete stop on the freeway. Jude glanced at the car's clock. It was twelve thirty.

"_Is it all right if I slide by?_

_You wonder why _

_I apologize for this_

_Your own mess_

_Repeated over, now it's more or less _

_I only close my eyes at night_

_In hopes that you will still be there_

_Smiling, waiting on return_

_With that breathless gaze still in your stare_

_Is it all right if I slide by?_

_You wonder why _

_There's so many goodbyes in me_

_But both we _

_Can't deny our perfect chemistry."_

Jude suddenly realized she had yet to open up the other box yet. Since her car still wasn't moving, she reached over and grabbed it. Inside the box revealed a white gold chain with a heart pendant. On the back an inscription read 'You put me back together again'. _  
_

"_I only close my eyes at night_

_In hopes that you will still be there_

_Smiling, waiting on return_

_With that breathless gaze still in your stare_

_It really is a shame_

_You're unattainable_

_And the both of us know the truth about it_

_That you're just a,_

_A composition of every girl I've ever loved."_

Jude turned her CD player on repeat and listened to the song for the next forty-five minutes straight. Finally, at one, she arrived at her destination.

The airport was crowded and Jude didn't want to spend time finding a parking spot. She handed her keys and a fifty-dollar bill to the valet parker and ran inside.

Jude cursed; the flight to California at one-thirty was at the last terminal and she would have to get through security. She patiently stood in line and waited for almost fifteen minutes before she gave up.

"Flight 304 now boarding." A woman called. Jude looked around and saw the booth in which she was sitting and a large billboard of flight times over it.

"I suppose…" She muttered. Jude jogged over to the booth and knocked on the door. The woman inside glared at her and shook her head.

Jude sighed and opened the door anyways. "Hey, could you please make an announcement for me?"

The woman shook her head. "Please leave or I'll call security."

Jude bit her lip. She walked over to the woman. "Please, I really need to use this."

"Please leave, miss, or I'll call security."

"I'm sorry." She muttered before pushing the woman off her chair. Jude quickly grabbed the microphone and spoke into it. "Tommy! Please don't get on the flight I made a mis-"

The woman grabbed back the microphone in disgust. "SECURITY!" She yelped.

Jude cringed and ran out of the booth. The last thing she needed to do right now is get banned from the airport by a couple of men in blue jumpsuits.

The clocks all around read one twenty. Jude looked around and saw a couple security guards rushing towards her. The only way now was to run for it. Jude pushed people aside and began to bolt it for the very last terminal. She hopped over chains and ran through metal detectors. None of them went off, but people seemed to think she was some kind of threat anyway.

A mob of security guards was now running after Jude. _Thank god I can run_, She thought. Cameras were flashing all around and she knew this would be in the paper in the morning.

The last terminal was now in view.

"Flight 438 now boarding." The familiar voice called. It was Tommy's flight.

People all around were now crowding the aisle way. Jude was thankful that she could now get lost in the crowd, but it became practically impossible for her to spot Tommy.

"Tommy!" She screamed, hoping he would hear her. A line to the airplane was beginning to form and she couldn't let him get on.

"Gotcha!" Jude's face met the tiled flooring with a _'thunk!' _A security guard was waiting for her and had tripped her.

"No, you don't understand!" She panted, "You've got to let me go, I need to find Tommy!"

"You need to get out of this airport." The security guards took a hold of her wrists and started to pull her away.

Jude tried to wrench herself away but was miserably failing. It was one thirty-five now.

She gave a struggle all the way, but the security guards managed to throw Jude out of the airport in five minutes. Tears slipped down Jude's cheeks and she finally gave up; it was too late, Tommy was gone. She didn't know where her car was parked or where the valet was and she could barely stand. The thought of actually losing Tommy forever made her faint. All along she thought she could go on without him, but in the end she always knew that Tommy would come back from California the first time. Now he left again, and he wasn't coming back; Jude had told him she wanted him gone.

"I didn't mean it!" She moaned as she slumped against the airport's exterior wall.

Tommy was about to board his plane when he first heard her. He stepped out of line and walked around to see if Jude was really there or if his mind was playing tricks on him. When he couldn't see her he numbly fell back intotheend of the line. He knew that if he was already imagining her that he couldn't possibly go forever without her. But it was what Jude wanted, and he couldn't defy her wishes forever.

It was then that the TV report came on. A newscaster was filming the arrival of a bunch of American movie stars that were going to be shooting a major motion picture in Toronto. She caught a glimpse of the fiasco some psycho was causing and started recording. People quickly indentified the mad woman as Jude Harrison and the story of movie stars quickly switched to the story of an insane pop star.

As thenescaster was recording, feedback was being sent to the news station and the TVs all over the airport began showing theincident happening right before their eyes. They played it over and over again; Jude yelling over the intercom, running, tripping, and being dragged out of the airport.

Tommy couldn't believe it; Jude really was looking for him. He dodged out of the line and left the airport with his carry-on in hand. He figured he could have all the things that were already packed for California sent back on a private plane later, but none of that mattered right now.

Outside the airport Tommy finally spotted her. "Jude!"

She was crouched on the ground when he found her. Jude looked up to see her producer rushing towards her. "Tommy I'm so sorry!" She got up and threw herself into his arms.

"I know, so am I." He whispered.

Suddenly a flurry of flashes surrounded them. "Tommy, the paparazzi." Jude tried to break the hug, but Tommy wouldn't let her go.

"Yeah, the paparazzi." He said with a shrug.

Jude smiled and leaned into him. "You know, I thought I would never admit it."

"Admit what?" Tommy let her away a little so he could look down into her eyes.

"I can't help who I fall in love with, not even when it comes to ex-boybanders." She leaned into him so that her lips met his.

Tommy smiled and pulled her up to deepen their kiss so world could see that he and Jude were finally finding out what was right.


End file.
